Day Off
by mtfrosty
Summary: Our two favorite Jedi finally have a day off from the war... deadly breakfast... annoying droids... and how can I not have fun picking on Mace?
1. Breakfast

Okay, so I got a little tired of writing angsty stuff, so I'm trying another humorous story. We'll see how it goes.

**Summary: **Our two favorite Jedi finally have a day off from the war... deadly breakfast... annoying droids... and I can't help but pick on Mace again. It's just sooooo easy...

Just a little sidenote... thank you to everyone who has been reviewing my other stories. I love getting reviews as it shows that my stories are appreciated and I actually have some motivation to keep writing. I'm not perfect, though, so don't be afraid to critique me in any way. I love getting advice! Thanks again!

* * *

Anakin woke up early. Six in the morning early. _Curse the stupid war,_ he thought, blaming it for his acquired habit of waking up at the crack of dawn every morning. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and glanced at the clock, just to confirm that it was indeed early. He groaned when he realized it was true.

Falling back on his bed, he tried to will himself to sleep, but of course it didn't work. Then he realized something. He and Obi-wan had a day off today. It was their first in almost a year and a half, and Anakin had been looking forward to it for a long time.

He grinned. No cafeteria food for breakfast this time. That had to be the best part of this day out of everything, mainly because Obi-wan was an amazing cook.

He jumped out of bed with renewed energy and walked out of his room and down the hall. He stopped at Obi-wan's door, hesitating to wake him. For some reason, his master had figured out a way to sleep in despite having been in the war longer than Anakin. Anakin shrugged; if he had to get up early, then it was only fair that Obi-wan should too.

Anakin opened the door, immediately throwing a hand over his mouth to stifle his laugh. Oh how he wished he could write a book on his master. There were so many odd quirks about him that Anakin wanted to tell people, his sleeping habits being one of them.

Sometime during the night, Obi-wan had managed to move from his bed to the floor and was now sprawled out, arms flung in weird directions, on the floor with half his body under the bed. He had trimmed his hair a few years back to get rid of the mullet look, but it was still long enough to get messed up, and it was sticking out at odd angles right now. Anakin was struck with a sudden pang of envy. Obi-wan looked so comfortable.

He walked over and poked a foot into his master's side. No response. He poked a little harder and yelped when Obi-wan's hand clamped around his ankle faster than he could blink. Looking down, his eyes met the steely gaze of a very unhappy master.

Obi-wan sighed when he realized it was only Anakin and groggily pushed himself into a sitting position. A small smile spread across his face and he gave his padawan a pointed look. "Don't you breathe a word."

Anakin grinned. "About what? The fact that you sleep under your bed instead of on top of it?"

Obi-wan took the jest in stride. "Yes, that. I'm assuming it's around six?"

"Unfortunately. Sorry, but I haven't figured out how you manage to sleep in yet. Maybe I should try sleeping under my bed," Anakin said to himself. He raised a brow and put on a serious face. "Does it help?"

Obi-wan just rolled his eyes and stood up, wincing when his back straightened. "Only if your back can take it. I really need to stop doing that."

"You're not even forty yet; stop complaining," Anakin ordered, turning to leave.

"Wait a minute," Obi-wan said. Anakin turned and looked at him. "Did you just mention my age without calling me old? Are you really Anakin?"

"My mistake. Come on, ya old fart, you need to make me breakfast." Anakin ducked, completely expecting the pillow that zinged towards him. It flew over his head and he triumphantly smiled. "Hah, you missed!" Then the second pillow nailed him right in the face.

"I don't miss," Obi-wan reminded him on his way out the door. Anakin mumbled something under his breath, which only earned him another steely look. "You do realize I know what those words mean, right?"

"Only because I told you," Anakin argued.

"Your mistake," Obi-wan countered. "Now cut the Huttese and go take a shower; you smell bad."

Leave it to his master to be so bluntly honest. "Whatever," Anakin grumbled. "You gonna have the food ready when I'm done?"

"Of course. But it might not be warm, considering you take the longest showers in the history of the Jedi." Anakin made a beeline for the bathroom, determined to prove his master wrong. Yes, he took long showers, and yes, he could also take short ones.

That was what he thought until the hot water hit his back and he was suddenly belting out some random song in some random language while reveling in the feel of the hot water as it loosened his sore muscles. And surprise, he lost track of time. It took lukewarm water to finally remind him about breakfast and proving Obi-wan wrong, the second of which wasn't going to happen.

He threw on a pair of pants and skidded into the kitchen, hair still wet and dripping. "You're lucky I'm nice, otherwise you'd never eat a warm breakfast," Obi-wan stated, turning from his place at the stove to give Anakin a smirk.

"Yeah, yeah. So what, you waited until a few minutes ago to start? I'm starving!"

"Keep complaining and maybe you will starve," his master shot back. "I'd ask you to help me, but that could potentially put our lives in danger, so instead why don't you go put a shirt on and then clean up the living room a bit."

"It's not messy," Anakin said. It really wasn't… at all. He just had the unfortunate luck of getting one of the Jedi Order's most anal neat freaks for a master.

"I hope you didn't just think what I think you thought," Obi wan said with a glare.

Anakin was trying too hard to decipher that sentence to realize that his shields had been down and he had indeed just called his master an anal neat freak. When he finally figured out what Obi-wan had said he gestured towards the living room. "Well it's not and to be honest, you are an anal neat freak, so just accept it and get over it."

Any other master, and Anakin would have been grounded and doing chores for weeks on end nonstop, but this was Anakin and Obi-wan and though Anakin called Obi-wan 'master', they were really more like brothers… quarrelling brothers at that.

Obi-wan cast a glance at the living room and looked it over. Then he looked back at Anakin and shrugged. "Fine, then go clean your room. If you can take more than two steps without crushing something under your feet, then you can wait until after breakfast to clean it. If not, you'll just have to starve a little longer."

Anakin groaned. His room was definitely not clean. "Come on, master. This is our day off and you're making me clean? We should be having fun, not doing chores. And how come you didn't shower? You have a bathroom in your room that you can use, you know. You need to tame that mane of yours anyways and I'm sure you don't smell like roses either and maybe you should clean your room, considering all the bed covers are on the floor now and –"

An egg splattered on his chest.

In the stunned moment of silence he looked down and watched the yoke slowly crawl down his chest, leaving a slimy path the entire way down. Then he slowly looked up only to meet the rueful grin of his master. "Are you done rambling?" his master asked.

"You…" Anakin began, his teeth grinding together. He heard Obi-wan vaguely tell him not too, but by then the bowl of pancake batter was already in midair courtesy of Anakin's force throw. It landed squarely on his master's head. Anakin smiled at his handiwork.

Obi-wan slowly pulled the bowl off of his head and wiped his face clean with the back of his hand. Globs of batter were dripping off of his red hair which was now pasted to his head. Anakin's smile disappeared at the cold look Obi-wan shot at him. "What? You threw an egg at me!"

Obi-wan glanced briefly at the pancake batter that was now splattered all over his clothes and the kitchen floor, and then he looked squarely at Anakin. "I distinctly told you not to do that," he said in that quiet, even tone that took over when he was mad. Anakin had never seen Obi-wan lose his temper, and he honestly didn't want to.

At one point he had, just to see if what everything anyone had ever told him about Obi-wan's earlier days was true, but after several attempts at unleashing Obi-wan's anger, Anakin had just accepted the fact that it wasn't going to happen. He had also realized that Obi-wan was already frighteningly intimidating when his anger was controlled.

Anakin attempted to look unfazed, but he probably failed. "You can make more," he squeaked out.

Obi-wan gave a short laugh, one that held no humor. "See that's the thing. We have eggs to spare, Anakin, but pancake batter is another issue. We're out. That was the last of it. We don't even have a box of cereal to eat, so guess what? Now that you've successfully emptied the pancake batter onto me and the floor, we get to clean up the kitchen, I get to take a shower, and then we both get to go eat breakfast in the cafeteria… again."

Anakin stared as Obi-wan snatched some paper towels and got to work on the floor. Cafeteria food, for breakfast… on their day off! Nooooo! Anakin angrily grabbed some paper towels and furiously dabbed at the batter. "You could have warned me before I threw it."

Obi-wan glared at him. "I did, but like always, you weren't listening."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Anakin asked, sending his master an equally penetrating glare.

"You need to learn to listen, Anakin. You'd get angry a lot less and you'd probably learn a lot more," Obi wan explained his voice still short and edgy.

"What can I possibly learn about pancake batter?" Anakin asked, trying to be stubborn.

"Well, had you not thrown the bowl at my head, you at least could have spared yourself the taste of raw batter in your mouth," Obi-wan said.

"Huh?" Anakin asked. While his mouth was still open, his master launched a batter filled paper towel into his face. The batter hit his tongue and he was immediately set upon by the pasty, floury flavor of uncooked pancakes. He spit most of it out and threw a paper towel in retaliation.

Obi-wan dodged it with a smile and got to his feet. Anakin rushed after his retreating master with a loaded paper towel in each fist. He threw one of them, sending an extra shove with the force behind it to give it more power. It slammed into the back of his master's head and stuck there due to the batter already in his hair. Obi-wan feigned a kill shot, stumbling over his feet and slamming into the floor.

"Ha!" Anakin shouted. "Victory is mine! I have taken down the great General Kenobi!" The paper towel he had just thrown smacked into his face and he tasted batter again.

"Never!" Obi-wan shouted as he dove behind the couch, taking cover from Anakin as he threw paper towels and pillows from furniture.

Soon the living room resembled a war zone, furniture overturned to make for better cover, 'ammunition' strewn all over the place, splatters of pancake batter marking the paths of the two combatants. Anakin had taken up a position behind a wall and was peeking around the corner into the living room, if it could be called that anymore.

Obi-wan was nowhere to be seen, though Anakin could sense that he was in the room. He grabbed a nearby pillow for a shield and slowly stepped into the room. "Master?" he called out.

He was answered with a barrage of soggy paper towels and pillows. He went down under the heavy fire, cowering under his pillow. The moment the barrage stopped, however, Anakin was up and launching himself at his master who was now standing in the middle of the room. "Anakin, no!" Obi-wan protested before his padawan slammed into his stomach, tackling him to the floor.

They went down in a heap, each trying to gain the upper hand. Obi-wan clearly had an advantage in experience, but his padawan had recently edged him in height and his reach was a little better. That was why Anakin was able to land an unexpected punch to Obi-wan's jaw. Though the hit did not have the full force of Anakin's strength behind it, it still snapped Obi-wan's head to the side.

Obi-wan suddenly found himself pinned to the floor, trying to shake the hit off. Anakin sat triumphantly on his chest, preventing his arms from moving. "I win!"

"That," Obi-wan stated in his best 'you have no idea who you're messing with' voice, "was a cheap shot."

Anakin's eyes widened at the tone, but he was unable to block Obi-wan's knee from slamming into the small of his back. Anakin grunted and loosened his grip for a moment, which allowed his master to roll out of his grasp. Anakin angrily got to his feet and got into his fighting stance, body relaxed, yet tense and ready for anything. His master was standing a few feet away in a similar position, though there was a smile on his face instead of a scowl. "You first."

Anakin snorted. "No thanks, I'll pass. You first, old man." Obi-wan smirked and was in the middle of launching himself forward when a knock on the door interrupted them.

Both froze where they were. "Crap," Anakin said. Then he made a face. "Which neighbor do you think called this time?"

Obi-wan made an equally annoyed face. "Who knows? Maybe both. I'll get the door."

"You? You've got dried batter in your hair and on your clothes! What if it's Master Yoda?" Anakin protested.

Obi-wan sighed. "Trust me, I'd be happy if it was him, but it's much worse than that."

Anakin's face visibly transitioned into a look of utter terror. "Oh no," he whispered. "It's him isn't it?" There was another knock, this one louder than the previous one.

"Skywalker! Kenobi! Open this door immediately!" Mace Windu shouted from the hallway.

Before Obi-wan reached the door, Anakin stuck out his hand. "It's been nice knowing you, master."

Obi-wan smiled sadly and shook his hand. "Likewise, Anakin. Ready to face the fire?"

Anakin nodded. "Let's just get it over with." He cringed when Obi-wan opened the door. Mace stood there with a look of disbelief, his dark eyes wandering over the disaster behind the dynamic duo. Then he fixed his hard gaze on them, raising an eyebrow at Obi-wan's messy appearance. "Master Kenobi, I fail to see how making breakfast should disturb the neighbors."

Anakin marveled at his master's calm exterior. He was the only one Anakin knew of that could actually stand to look Mace Windu in the eye. Obi-wan nodded. "Well, master, normally it shouldn't, but if you would allow me to explain…"

"Explain what, Kenobi?" Mace interrupted. "Yes, please explain to me how your living quarters have been turned into a battlefield and why you suddenly decided to style your hair with pancake batter. I would love to hear what excuse you come up with this time."

Anakin swallowed and looked at his master. Obi wan, as always, only blinked at the interruption. Then he continued to speak. "Like I was trying to say, Master Windu, normally breakfast should not disturb anyone; however, I would like to point out that I do have Anakin Skywalker as a padawan. While that should be sufficient enough, I would like to further say that Anakin's cooking skills are as inefficient as your ability to grow hair."

Anakin swallowed a laugh and looked at Mace to study his reaction. The only visible change on the Korun master's face was a slight narrowing of the eyes. "You've overused that excuse, Master Kenobi, and it would really help your cause if you cut back on the insults."

"It was only an analogy," Obi-wan argued. "And I think my reasoning is fair. Having Anakin as a padawan is pretty much a viable excuse for anything, wouldn't you say?"

"Not when you're acting equally immature," Mace countered. "How is Anakin responsible for your entire living room being trashed?"

"He's still learning how to control his abilities," Obi-wan said without hesitation. "His use of the force can be quite destructive."

Mace narrowed his eyes, knowing that Kenobi was lying to him. It was a decent explanation, though, and because of Anakin's reputation, he couldn't call Obi-wan's bluff. "Well clean it up, and get your padawan under control," he ordered with a harsh glare in Anakin's direction. "And if I have to come here one more time today, I don't care what excuses you have, you will both be punished."

"Yes, master," both Obi-wan and Anakin replied before shutting the door. Anakin looked at his master and Obi-wan just stared back at him. Then they both burst out laughing. "He's gonna tear your head off one of these days," Anakin said after he calmed his breathing down.

"I'd like to see him try," Obi-wan retorted. He put a hand to his head and made a face at the globs of batter that came off in his palm. "I'm going to go clean up. Why don't you start working on the living room?"

Anakin pouted. "I'm just as dirty as you are! Why can't I take a shower first?"

Obi-wan put on his 'serious master' face and glared at his padawan. "Because _I'm_ taking a shower first, and besides, I asked you to clean up the living room earlier, but you didn't. So you can do it now." Obi-wan smirked at Anakin's furious expression before he headed to the bathroom.

Anakin scowled at his master before turning to look at the mess they had created. It was unbelievable how the two of them could do so much damage in so little time. _I guess that's why we're so good at winning battles,_ Anakin thought to himself with a small smile. He sighed and bent to pick up the first wad of batter-filled paper towels. He grimaced at the squishy, yet powdery feel of it on his fingers and quickly tossed it into a nearby trash can.

Then he grinned. He easily stretched out with the force and soon all of the paper towels were zipping through the air towards the trash and the pillows were floating back towards the now upturned furniture.

When Obi-wan came out of the bathroom a mere twenty minutes later, Anakin was vacuuming the floor as if nothing unusual had taken place. His master stared at him for a minute and then shook his head. "Cheater."

"You never specified as to _how_ I had to clean it up," Anakin argued.

Obi-wan sighed, willing to relent just so they wouldn't spend another ten minutes arguing. "You're right, I didn't. Now go take a shower… again. And this time try not to use every drop of hot water in the Temple. I'm pretty sure the Council is already considering sending us our own personalized water bill."

"Master, you're on the Council. I thought they couldn't do anything without the full consent of every member."

"True," Obi-wan agreed before grinning. "It wouldn't be me paying the bill."

Anakin glared at him. "Fine. I will take a _short_ shower and be out in a few minutes."

Obi-wan took over the vacuuming without replying. Anakin's version of a short shower was still a good forty minutes long. When his padawan finally emerged from the bathroom, Obi-wan had finished vacuuming, had cleaned up the kitchen, and was in the process of washing the dishes. He glanced over his shoulder when Anakin entered the kitchen. "Ready to go eat breakfast?"

Anakin sighed. "Yeah." Then he thought for a moment before adding, "Thanks for cleaning up the kitchen."

Obi-wan looked shocked for a moment. Then his face broke into a wide grin. "You're welcome, Anakin."

Anakin made a face. "I can be grateful when I want to be."

Obi-wan dried the last bowl and tossed the towel on to the counter. Then he led the way out of their quarters. "I know you can, but you just don't for some reason."

They walked in silence for a moment, Obi-wan thinking and Anakin just observing the passing Jedi with a bored expression on his face. They reached the cafeteria and stopped outside of the entrance.

Padawans, younglings, knights, and masters alike were flooding in and out of the dining area. There was a sickeningly sweet aroma escaping into the halls. "Did they put too much sugar into their goop this time?" Anakin asked to no one in particular.

Obi-wan was trying not to breathe through his nose, so he didn't reply at first. That was until Anakin gave him a look and cracked up laughing. "You know, master, you're face is almost as green as it is when I'm flying."

Obi-wan finally gave up and gestured towards the doors. "You first."

"In respect to your authority, I think I'll let you go first," Anakin replied with a mock salute.

Obi-wan raised a brow. "_Because_ of my authority, you get to go first."

"You wouldn't torture your poor padawan like that would you?" Anakin asked, giving his master his best puppy dog eyes.

Obi-wan didn't buy it. "In case you haven't noticed, I still need to eat breakfast too, so you're not the only one who's being tortured here. Now come on, we're blocking the way."

Anakin stepped to the side and smiled innocently. "Then we'll move. You first."

Obi-wan glared at his padawan with icy blue-grey eyes. "Stubborn brat," he growled before walking into the cafeteria. Anakin happily followed, though the happiness disappeared when the overpowering sweetness surrounded him. "What's on the menu today?" he asked his master between breaths.

Obi-wan was trying hard to ignore the sweetness that was hanging in the air as he glanced at the menu. "It says French toast on the menu, but I'm not sure that that's what they're serving."

Anakin observed the cooks as they handed out something that somewhat resembled a piece of bread. What followed was a rich, extremely thick sauce that Anakin assumed was supposed to be syrup. "I think they put too much sugar in the syrup," Anakin explained.

Obi-wan followed his gaze and grimaced. "I'm not sure I can stomach that," he confessed. He gave Anakin a dirty look. "Then again, I guess I have to seems how _someone_ ruined our breakfast."

"If you hadn't tossed that egg at me…" Anakin said, grabbing a tray when they got in line.

Obi-wan hesitated for a moment before reluctantly taking hold of a plastic tray. "Again, I did warn you not to throw that batter on my head."

"If you hadn't thrown the egg…" Anakin repeated, this time looking at his master.

"If you would learn to listen…" Obi-wan retorted.

"If you hadn't thrown the egg…"

"Is that your only argument?" Obi-wan asked.

Anakin thought for a moment. Then he shrugged. "You started it."

Obi-wan nodded. "Perhaps, but that doesn't mean that you had to continue it."

"You're supposed to be the example; I'm just here to learn," Anakin said.

Obi-wan shot him a look. "So maybe you should try learning something."

"I do, but –" They both stopped arguing and stared at the slabs of 'French toast' that were placed on their trays. They looked slightly crunchy and not real edible. Anakin swallowed back a gag and then looked politely at the cook. "May I please have a little extra?"

The cook looked ecstatic that someone was asking for more and gladly plopped two more slabs on his tray. Obi-wan set his mouth in a firm line and requested the same, though he wasn't able to put on a polite act. The cook didn't seem to care. As they moved on to the syrup, Obi-wan leaned towards his padawan and whispered, "I swear you're going to be the death of me."

Anakin just smiled. It had evolved into a sort of tradition: they always competed to see who could stomach the most cafeteria food and live to tell about it.

Obi-wan grimaced at the large glob of syrup that was slowly oozing across his four slabs of whatever it was supposed to be. The sugary stench was overpowering. They each got three slices of limp bacon and then headed for the juice.

Anakin grabbed a carton of chocolate milk, but Obi-wan opted for an extra large glass of orange juice. Anakin looked at the glass and then back at his carton of milk. He set the milk back down and grabbed a glass. "Good idea."

"I'm tempted to just forfeit this one right now," Obi-wan complained as they headed for a table.

"Feel free," Anakin grumbled. He knew his master wouldn't do it though; they were both way too competitive for that. They found a small table in a corner and sat down. Then they stared at the food in front of them. Anakin poked at it suspiciously and shook one of the slices of bacon in his hand. "Look, it bends," he commented.

"Far too easily for my taste," Obi-wan observed. "Do you think they even cooked it, or did they just warm it up a bit?"

"Come on, master, it can't be that bad can it?" Anakin said, mostly to convince himself. He set the bacon flat on his plate and rolled it up. Then he held it up triumphantly. "Ha! It will only take one bite! You can't copy me, new rule!"

Obi-wan leaned back in his seat to watch what he knew was coming. Anakin slowly placed the rolled up bacon in his mouth and proceeded to chew very quickly. The chewing soon turned into a grimace, which soon became a loud gagging noise that attracted the attention of a few Jedi sitting near them. "Don't worry, he's okay," Obi-wan reassured them through his soft chuckles. Anakin took a large swig of orange juice. Obi-wan smiled. "I'm impressed. You actually swallowed it."

"That's right," Anakin stated, still gagging slightly. He looked at his remaining two slices with a fair amount of disgust. "Ugh."

Obi-wan started with his French toast. The first bite tasted a bit like the freeze-dried meals they ate in between battles, only it was drenched in a molasses-like coating of pure sugar. He chewed twice and then swallowed, not able to bear the sweetness any longer than a couple seconds. He saw Anakin watching him and smiled. "It's a tad bit chewy and a little on the sweet side."

"Any suggestions?" Anakin asked hopefully while staring intently at the gooey mass in front of him.

"Yeah," Obi-wan answered after forcing down his second bite. "Forfeit and save yourself the suffering."

"Never," Anakin vowed, putting another rolled up piece of bacon in his mouth. The gagging was less severe this time, but it was still there. It took them a good half hour to get through the good part of their meals. After another fifteen minutes, Obi-wan was left with one slice of bacon and Anakin had two bites of French toast remaining on his plate. The cafeteria had cleared out for the most part.

Obi-wan attempted to suppress the pain in his stomach with the Force, but he was unable to concentrate enough. The good news was that the bacon had somewhat hardened when it cooled off, but it was still very limp. He snuck a quick glance in Anakin's direction.

The padawan was staring at the rock hard bit of French toast on his plate with a mixture of anger and nausea. Anakin raised his eyes and caught his master looking. "Should we call it a draw?" he managed to ask.

Obi-wan gave his padawan a small smile and then stuffed the bacon in his mouth. He chewed it a few times and swallowed, downing the last of his orange juice. "You know I don't like draws, Anakin."

Anakin glowered down at his plate. He forced his fork into one of the pieces and brought it up to his mouth. The piece of French toast remained there until Anakin sighed and lowered it back down. "I concede. You win, master."

Obi-wan nodded, but was unable to celebrate his victory due to what felt like a mass of cement sitting in his stomach. "What do you say we head back and take it easy for a while?"

"Sounds good," Anakin agreed. They made their way back to their quarters as quickly as they could and then collapsed on the couch to try and settle their aching stomachs.

* * *

Well? Should I keep going? I've got some other chapters started, but we'll see what the reviews say... (wink, wink)

Thanks for reading! :)


	2. Forty Credits Wasted!

_This one is a tad bit shorter than the first one, but hopefully it's just as entertaining... Enjoy! :)_

**I have a poll going for the third chapter on my profile. I'm letting you guys decide what they should do next! :) Please take a few seconds to vote. Thank you!**

* * *

A loud pounding on the door woke the two Jedi from their slumber. Obi-wan was the first to open one eye groggily. "Who?" he asked, not fully awake. He glanced down from his position on the couch and saw Anakin snoring on the floor a little ways away. He grabbed a pillow and hit Anakin in the face. "Wake up, Anakin."

"Wha… huh?" was the reply. Obi-wan hit him again and Anakin shook his head, opening his eyes. "What? Who's pounding on our door?"

"I don't know; why don't you go find out? I'll be in the kitchen," Obi-wan replied.

Anakin sighed and slowly got to his feet. "Yes, master." The knocking continued until Anakin opened the door. "Yes!" he cried. "It's here!"

Obi-wan froze in the kitchen, his hand halfway towards the milk in the fridge. He groaned, drawing his hand back. "Anakin!" he bellowed before going to the door. He stared at the package that Anakin was currently signing for with a mixture of annoyance and dread. "How much did this one cost?"

Anakin smiled sheepishly as he drug the box in. "Um… well… only forty credits, but it was half price and I couldn't pass it up and –"

"Forty credits," Obi-wan repeated with a shake of his head. "Unbelievable. What does it do?"

"It chases stuff," Anakin replied with a touch of pride.

Obi-wan blinked. "Chases stuff? Are you telling me that you spent forty credits on a droid that… chases stuff?"

"Well, yeah. Plus, it's got these really cool flashing lights and it makes funny noises. I can't wait to see the look on Master Windu's face when…" Anakin trailed off when his master glared at him.

"Send it back," Obi-wan said before heading back towards the kitchen.

"Oh, come on!" Anakin whined. "You have to admit, the look on his face would be worth it! Besides, he wouldn't even know it was us!"

Obi-wan stuck his head back in the room. "First off, it would be only _you_ doing it and secondly he would know immediately that you did it, because only you would do something like that to him, and thirdly, I would prefer it if Mace allowed me to live another few years or so. So please, for the sake of my sanity and both our lives, send it back." He sighed when Anakin pouted. "It's not going to work, Anakin."

Anakin crossed his arms. "It never does, so I'm not going to keep doing it. But please, just one more time. I promise this one won't cause any serious damage."

"Yeah, because it only chases stuff," Obi-wan sarcastically replied. "What if it goes after the younglings?"

"I'll program it so that it only goes after Master Windu."

Obi-wan was impressed for a moment. "You can do that?"

Anakin shrugged. "Sure."

Obi-wan though for a moment, staring at the box that contained what would probably lead to a painful end to his life, and then sighed. "Fine, Anakin, but this is the last one. Clear on that?"

"Yes, master. Thank you!" Anakin said gleefully, already tearing into the box like a little kid. Obi-wan shook his head and retreated back into the kitchen. At least the French toast was no longer a brick in his stomach.

One short hour later, Anakin had the droid built and fully functional, and had reassured his master about twenty times that it would only go after Mace. "Are you sure, Anakin, because I still think this is a terrible idea," Obi-wan repeated again.

Anakin sighed in frustration. "Master, it will be fine. Trust me. Besides, you have to admit that you wouldn't have hesitated to do something like this at my age."

"That was until Master Yoda broke my arm with that blasted stick of his," Obi-wan grumbled.

Anakin looked at him, surprised. "_You_ pranked Master Yoda? No way! I don't believe you."

Obi-wan just glared at him. "Come on, let's just get this over with."

The droid was only about a foot tall with short, stubby arms and a bright light on the top of its head, so it wasn't at all difficult to hide beneath one of their robes. Anakin let out a muffled curse when he bumped into a pillar on accident.

Obi-wan glanced at him, but then just rolled his eyes. They both stopped outside of Mace's door and looked at each other. "Well," Obi-wan said.

Anakin took the droid out and set it down in front of the door. "He's usually out for most of the day, right? So, it will happen this evening."

"Right," Obi-wan agreed. They left the droid and headed for one of the training rooms to practice their lightsaber skills, as if they needed practice. Anakin always insisted on it, though, since it was one of his favorite things to do and he usually had a few new moves to show Obi-wan. After checking all of the rooms, Anakin groaned. "They're all full."

Obi-wan glanced at the door to the training arena where most Jedi went to polish up. In the earlier days, they wouldn't have minded using that area, but now that they were two of the most well-known Jedi in the Order, they could never get anything done with all of younglings crowded around them asking for stories. "How bad do you want to do this?" Obi-wan asked.

Anakin set his jaw and moved towards the doors. "Come on. I'm going to beat you this time."

"You beat me last time," Obi-wan reminded him.

Anakin gave him a look. "Master, you _let_ me win last time so that we could leave."

"Did not," Obi-wan argued before walking past the door to the large room. "I'll be in our apartment. I'm sure you can find one of your friends to spar with in there."

Anakin glared after the retreating form. He stomped after his master and deftly spun the man around with a quick jerk on his shoulder. "I'll reconfigure the droid," he warned.

Obi-wan's eyes hardened into the look Anakin knew so well. It was the annoyed look that came from being threatened. "Anakin, seriously. I cannot take another two hours of younglings constantly screaming around us for stories. In fact, I ran out of stories I can make up a long time ago! There's nothing left to tell!"

"Fine." Anakin began to walk back to Mace's door, fully intent on making the droid chase every living creature in the Temple. He smirked to himself when he heard Obi-wan sigh and follow him.

"Anakin…"

"I told you I was going to reconfigure it," he retorted.

"Anakin, don't do it."

"Or what?" Anakin asked, stopping in front of the little droid. "You'll reconfigure it back? Master, I know you're good with machines, but you're not nearly as good as I am." He picked up the droid and pressed a few buttons. "There. Now it will chase everyone but me."

Obi-wan sighed when the droid began to bounce against his legs while making an annoyingly high-pitched squeal. "That's not what I was referring to, Anakin."

"Then what –" Anakin began, but he stopped when Obi-wan gestured casually with his right hand and the droid began to rise into the air.

"No!" Anakin cried, but before he could reach it, Obi-wan had his lightsaber out and ignited. It zipped straight through the droid's circuitry before Anakin could so much as blink. The squealing immediately stopped and the two halves of the droid crashed to the floor.

"I knew it was a bad idea," Obi-wan muttered before turning around and walking away.

Anakin was fuming. Forty credits! Wasted! A few passing Jedi had slowly drawn to a halt, knowing they were in for some entertainment. The arguments between this legendary master-padawan pair always involved more than words. "Master!" Anakin shouted.

Obi-wan slowly turned around. "Yes?" he calmly asked.

"I spend forty credits on that droid and you just trashed it!"

Obi-wan glanced pointedly at the droid lying on the floor and then smirked. "Huh. I guess I did. Maybe you should spend your money on better things next time."

"Why I oughta…" Anakin muttered as he stalked forward, lightsaber suddenly in his grasp.

His master's sharp voice stopped him in his tracks. "Anakin! Control your anger!"

Anakin stood still, trying to suppress his rising fury. It was just a droid, after all. He took a deep breath and clipped his lightsaber back on his belt. "Sorry master. I was acting like –"

"Crap," his master interrupted.

"What?" Anakin asked, the anger starting to rise again. Had Obi-wan just called him a piece of crap?

"He's back early," Obi-wan continued, looking past Anakin. Anakin slowly turned and then froze. Mace Windu was standing over the two droid parts with a lethal look on his face. His bald head slowly turned to stare straight at Anakin.

Anakin paled and looked at his master, hoping for some protection, but all he got in return was a very annoyed and very peeved glare. Mace began to stalk towards the two of them. Obi-wan sighed and shoved Anakin behind him with a none-too- gentle sweep of his arm. "Anakin, if you so much as breathe…"

"Understood, master," Anakin quickly replied.

Obi-wan straightened and squared his shoulders, his eyes turning to settle on the tall Korun master heading their way. "Master Windu, what a pleasant surprise –"

Mace glared down his nose at the shorter master. "It is neither a surprise, nor very pleasant to see you two here," he felt the need to point out, since the two were obviously not intelligent enough to take a hint. He gestured towards the discarded droid. "May I ask how that piece of twisted metal ended up outside my door?"

Obi-wan nodded, as calm as ever. Anakin didn't know how his master did it. He himself was fully ready to make a run for it if given the opportunity. "Certainly. Anakin had a brilliant idea that we should try and prank you again. That brainless bucket of bolts was programmed to chase you around all day without the slightest bit of consideration for how annoyed you became. Unfortunately, you showed up a little earlier than expected."

Apparantly, Mace was just as shocked as Anakin at the blunt words of truth that had just come from Obi-wan's mouth. "Master!" Anakin whispered furiously.

Obi-wan casually pivoted to give his padawan a stern glance. "Didn't I tell you not to speak, Anakin?" Anakin glowered, but quieted down.

"So, you two obviously don't care how many times I tell you to behave yourselves, " Mace lectured. "Therefore, you will be properly punished. Tomorrow, you two will – "

"Sleep in and make pancakes," Obi-wan finished for him. Mace blinked. Anakin felt the sudden urge to laugh.

"Excuse me?" Mace asked, the anger boiling just beneath his furious gaze.

Obi-wan crossed his arms and met the glare with his own two, icy gray eyes. Mace may be known for his fatally hard glares, but if Mace was feared for his temper, Obi-wan was feared for his cleverly sadistic wit. "If I recall correctly, you said this morning that we would be punished if you had to return to our apartment due to another complaint. Unless my eyes have gone bad, I don't believe I see our door anywhere within seeing distance, and I don't believe there have been any more complaints issued about us today. In fact, I would venture to say that the bystanders are more amused than annoyed, wouldn't you agree?"

Before Mace could argue, Obi-wan continued. "Furthermore, I don't think this punishment of yours would have anything to do with us being disobedient. I think it's just a subtle venue towards revenge for our natural talent at unleashing your temper. And if I'm not mistaken, revenge is not the Jedi way."

Mace was barely able to control himself now. "Nevertheless _Master_ Kenobi, you and your padawan have always been intent on annoying me as much as you can. Punishment may be the only way to control your idiotic pranks."

Obi-wan's gaze didn't waver, his breathing didn't change, but his eyes narrowed slightly. "I would like to point out that I did in fact put an end to the droid in question and Anakin and I were about to have a serious talk about such 'idiotic' pranks. You interrupted."

Mace noticed the narrowed eyes and seemed to actually calm down a bit. If Anakin wasn't mistaken, he sensed a slight amount of fear leaking from the Korun master. He sighed in frustration. "Very well, Kenobi. Take your padawan and go have a talk. I expect that there will be no further pranks occurring in the near future?"

"No, master," Obi-wan answered with a shallow bow of respect.

"Good." Mace turned and headed back to his apartment with a shake of his head.

Anakin breathed a sigh of relief and followed after his master. They returned to their apartment, and Anakin felt a little uneasy as his master closed the door with a bit more force than he usually used. "Master?" he asked, hoping for the best.

Leave it to his master to chase all hope away with just two words.

"Money, now." Obi-wan was staring right into his eyes with an outstretched hand, palm facing upward, waiting for the crisp slap of cash. Anakin groaned and headed towards his room. "And you better give it all up, because if you attempt to hide any I _will_ find it and you _will _be punished. Understood?"

Wonderful.

* * *

_"A laugh is a smile that bursts." ~ Mary H. Waldrip_


	3. Directionally Challenged

_Okay, so this update took a very, very, very long time and I apologize. But here it is! This is the result of the poll that a few of you took the time to answer. Hopefully you'll crack a few smiles. ;)_

* * *

Their apartment needed some work, Anakin decided. For the last forty-five minutes, he had done nothing but sit on the couch, staring at the walls. All four walls were the same color: a dull, brownish, tanish shade of cream similar to Obi-wan's tunic. There was nothing hanging on the walls. They were blank. The floor was brown, their furniture was a lighter shade of brown than the floor, and their door was even a shade of brown.

After coming to this startling and somewhat disturbing realization, Anakin spent the next twenty minutes searching for even the smallest speck of dust. He had yet to find even the slightest bit of evidence that any dust had ever existed in their apartment.

Something was wrong here.

Anakin rose from the couch. He gave his knees a confused look when they popped from being bent for too long. That was only supposed to happen to old people… like his master. "I am not old!" his master's dignified voice sounded from the dining table.

Anakin rolled his eyes and walked into the dining area. He leaned against the open doorway. "From a certain point of view."

Obi-wan was hunched over what Anakin assumed was close to a gazillion political reports. He was squinting at one with a very odd look on his face. Without looking up or appearing to break his train of thought, his clipped voice retorted, "I am only thirty-three, thank you very much. That hardly qualifies as old." The report apparently was proving to be quite the puzzle, because his master picked it up and held it out in front of him, turning it upside-down, on both sides, and even squinting through the back of it.

Anakin finally gave him a look and asked, "What are you doing?"

With a very sour expression, Obi-wan set down the paper and finally looked at him. "Trying to read a language that I obviously have no clue how to read. Did you need something?"

"Um, well, sort of. Did you know we only have one color in our apartment?"

Obi-wan gave him a blank look.

"Brown?" Anakin offered. "You know, the color of the stuff that comes out of –"

"Yes, Anakin, I know what brown looks like," his master quickly butt in. "Is there a problem with brown?"

"Uh, yeah. It's boring."

The elder Jedi only shrugged. "Maybe you should do something about that. Now what is it that you needed? I'm kind of busy here."

Anakin rolled his eyes. Only his master would find some work to do on a day off. "Do you want to do something? Like maybe go spar, or drive around the city? Or better yet, we could have a race around the city!" His eyes lit up at that one and he gave his master a hopeful expression. "Pleeease?"

"No, we are not sparring for reasons I explained earlier and no we are not engaging in any activity that even remotely involves a speeder or any other type of vehicle. That would be putting the public in danger and could possibly land you in jail once again for breaking every possible traffic law that you can think of."

"Oh, come on, master!" Anakin begged. "I'm not that bad!" There was an awkward silence in which Obi-wan only raised a brow and Anakin stared at him until he felt his eye start to twitch. "Okay fine, so I'm not the greatest driver, but I've never actually killed anyone!"

"Right. So let's wait until you actually do kill someone and _then_ we'll stop. Makes sense, I suppose." Obi-wan's voice was dripping with sarcasm.

Anakin frowned. "No need to be sarcastic."

"Of course not, because you respond _so_ well to everything else."

"You just did it again!"

"No, really," Obi-wan replied with a slight smirk.

"Is it possible for you to stop being sarcastic without causing your body any harm?" Anakin asked, sincerely wanting an answer to that question.

"Nope," his master answered, a little too cheerfully. The cheerfulness faded as his eyes once again sought the dreaded piece of paper. "Um… Anakin?"

Anakin turned around and headed back to the table. He had been about to sit down once more and contemplate the possible ways to get a color other than brown into their apartment. "Yes, master?"

Obi-wan smiled sheepishly and held out the piece of paper. "Can you read this?"

Anakin raised a brow. "Wait a minute. _You_ can't read it? You know, what, a few dozen languages? And I know, hmm… maybe seven?" Obi-wan just rolled his eyes and gave him a look. Anakin snatched the sheet of paper and looked at it. "What the heck is this supposed to be? I don't even think those scribbles qualify as anything remotely symbolic or linguistic."

"I take it that's a no," Obi-wan grumbled. Then he sighed and leaned back in his chair. "You might want to go get comfortable, because I'm afraid I may be stuck here for a while."

Anakin set the paper back down and groaned. Then his eyes lit up. "Aha! I just had an epiphamy!"

Obi-wan gave him an uneasy look. "First of all, it's an _epiphany._ Second of all, please tell me that this brilliant idea of yours will not endanger anyone but yourself."

Anakin frowned. "Gee, how encouraging. Thank you for that sudden boost to my self esteem."

"Seriously, Anakin."

The young man sighed. "Yes, it is completely safe and no harm will come to any of the residents who live here, both normal and abnormal."

"Anakin…"

"Okay, okay! Sorry… but you have to admit, some of them do look a little strange."

Obi-wan lowered his head into his hand and began to rub his temples. "Just get on with it, will you?"

Anakin took a deep breath. "Okay, so here's my plan. It's our day off and you're working, and that's just wrong, so –"

"Anakin, have you seen all of these papers? I can't help it if –"

"Yes, I have seen them, and no, I don't care," Anakin replied. "Day off means day off, and you shouldn't have to work, so here's my brilliant plan." He paused dramatically.

And then it got awkward when he didn't continue. Obi-wan began to tap a finger. "Are you going to continue?"

Anakin seemed to snap out of a daze and blinked. "Sorry, got a little sleepy, what with the astounding array of color in our apartment –"

"Anakin! For the love of Pete, just say it already and be done with it!" Obi-wan snapped.

Anakin held up his hands. "Easy… so here it is… can we go walk around the southeast corner of the Temple? You know, the area with all of the gardens? I haven't been there before and I've heard it's really cool."

Obi-wan stared at him with an incredulous look on his face. "You want to take a walk? That's your brilliant idea? Are you feeling okay, because suddenly you're sounding like me, and there is something not quite right about that."

Anakin let out a little huff. "You're not the only one who likes to go on walks. I actually do enjoy them… sometimes. So, what do ya say?"

His master actually thought about it for a few moments. "You've really never been there before?"

"Well, no. We never have the time these days, and when I was younger all I did was go to class, do homework, and get into loads of trouble. So, no. I haven't."

Obi-wan stared at his padawan and then his gaze transferred to the numerous piles of political reports. Finally, he sighed and stood up. "Fine, let's go. I don't get over there very often either."

Anakin's eyes lit up and he grinned. "Wizard! I'll go get my robe." He rushed into his room, threw on his robe and then met his master out in the hallway. "Okay, let's go!" When Obi-wan didn't move, he looked over. His master was scowling. Every few seconds, his eyes would shift either left or right, as if studying the two routes. "Master?"

Obi-wan rubbed his beard in deep thought. "Which way?" he suddenly asked.

Anakin stared, dumbfounded. "You don't know which way to go? Come on, it's easy. Southeast is that way." He pointed as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Obi-wan gestured with a hand. "My point exactly, Anakin. Jedi can do many things, but unfortunately, the Force doesn't allow us to walk through walls." Anakin looked at where he was pointing and sure enough, the hallway did not go in that direction. "I suppose we could go south and see where that takes us," Obi-wan suggested.

Anakin made a face. "It will take us past the cafeteria. We won't even make it halfway to the gardens before whatever smell we've inhaled makes us drop dead."

Obi-wan grimaced and shuddered a little. "You're right, I forgot about that little obstacle. Okay, so south is no longer an option. Alright… we'll go north in hopes that somehow we'll end up going south. Makes sense."

Anakin threw up his hands and started walking. "I never said it made sense, I only said that we'd die if we went the other way!"

Obi-wan glared after him. "I never said that you said it made sense. And besides, we've already ruled out the other direction, so it doesn't matter if it makes sense or not. We _have_ to go this way."

"Whatever…" Anakin muttered. Then his brows furrowed in confusion. "Why Pete?"

"Pardon?"

"Pete," Anakin repeated. "Why do people say 'for the love of Pete'? Why not some other name?"

Obi-wan just rolled his eyes. "Well, Anakin, it is just something that people say when…" And the conversation continued for the next twenty minutes or so until Anakin finally decided that he would not conform to what everyone else said. "Pablo," he decided. "That's what I'm going to say."

Obi-wan stopped and Anakin drew to a halt still thinking about the name. "We haven't changed directions," Obi-wan stated, almost to himself. He gestured at a nearby hallway that veered off from the main hallway. "I think we should go that way. It's somewhat south."

Anakin nodded. "Sure."

They turned down the smaller hallway. Anakin resumed the conversation. "So, what do you think about Pablo? I think it has a nice ring to it."

Obi-wan wasn't really paying much attention to him anymore. "Sure," he mumbled. They continued to walk, Anakin chatting nonstop about his profound discovery of the name 'Pablo' and Obi-wan smiling, nodding, and muttering one-word answers when appropriate.

Eventually, it was only the two of them in the hall. There were no other Jedi in the area it seemed. They passed a few more apartments, but the hallway was mostly just that… a hallway. It was lined with large, marble pillars and artwork of various styles. The lighting was a little dim as there were no windows anymore.

Finally, Anakin trailed off and seemed to notice where they were. He began to curiously observe the pieces of art and the lack of doorways. "Strange, master. I don't think I've been this way before."

"I don't think _I've_ even been this way before," Obi-wan admitted.

Anakin glared at him. "Great. So you don't know where we're going. This is just fantastic!"

Obi-wan huffed in frustration. "Of course I know where we're going. We're going south. And as soon as we find a hallway that goes somewhat east, we'll turn. Simple."

"Yeah…" Anakin wasn't convinced, but he quieted down anyway, because he knew that Obi-wan would continue to argue.

They walked in silence for a few minutes before they rounded a corner and came across a large corridor with a bunch of different busts lining the walls. "Wow," Anakin said. He looked around and felt a little creeped out. "Well done, master. You have successfully found the deepest, darkest, creepiest part of the Temple. Look at that one," he said, pointing. "It looks like it's about to attack."

"Oh, just shut it, Anakin," his master grumbled.

"No, I'm serious," Anakin continued, slightly intrigued. He walked closer and stared at the large bust. "What species do you think it is? You'd think that with ears like those I would be able to recognize it, but I'm stumped."

Obi-wan sighed and walked over, examining the bust that had Anakin's attention. His padawan was right. The thing had the largest, floppiest ears he had ever seen. And he had no clue what it was. His brow furrowed. "Huh…"

"See?" Anakin stated. "You don't know either. I think we should name it ourselves." He squinted at it and tilted his head. "What do you think it looks like?"

Obi-wan unexpectedly cracked a smile. "Jar-jar."

Anakin looked at him and then laughed. "You have a strange imagination, master. I was thinking it looks like Plo Koon. You know, it has those little tusk things by its mouth."

Obi-wan shrugged. "I guess so. We should get going. Maybe we'll come across a hallway that one of us recognizes."

Anakin nodded and followed after his master. "Okay, so Master Koon is a Kel Dor, right? And Jar-jar is a gungan, so… how about a Kel Dungan?"

Obi-wan just shook his head. "Not very original…" Anakin frowned.

They continued to walk, and walk, and walk, and walk some more. Anakin eventually got fed up. "For the love of Pablo, does it never end?"

Obi-wan cringed at the name. It just didn't sound right. He chose not to comment, though, as Anakin might feel insulted. "Well, we could go back the way we came, I suppose. I'm starting to have a bad feeling about this."

"Well, now I know that something is _really_ wrong if you're having bad feelings about it," Anakin stated. Then he spotted something just down the hall a little ways. "Hey look! A window!" He ran over to it and looked outside. "Master, I can't tell where we are. This view looks weird."

Obi-wan casually strolled over and peeked outside. "It's just the other side of the city, Anakin. Nothing to be afraid of." He smirked at his padawan's glare. "Come on. Let's keep walking. We're bound to stumble across another hallway somewhere. Hopefully one that leads to someplace familiar."

"Yeah, 'cause _so_ many of these places have been familiar already," Anakin retorted.

Obi-wan glanced at him. "Hypocrite."

"What! Why?" Anakin demanded, stopping to cross his arms.

"Sarcasm," Obi-wan bluntly stated. "If you can use it, I can use it, and you most certainly cannot tell me otherwise."

Anakin groaned and stomped off. He had just ruined his chances of ever being rid of that single, most annoying trait of the ginger-haired master. He clamped his mouth shut for the better portion of the next ten minutes as they wandered down the unfamiliar hallway. This time, he stayed in front of Obi-wan to make sure that they took the next available path out of there. His master's uneasy feeling was becoming contagious.

Finally, another hallway appeared and Anakin gratefully turned down it, only to discover a few seconds later that Obi-wan wasn't following. He sighed and turned back. "Why aren't you coming?"

Obi-wan was standing at the intersection with a thoughtful expression on his face. "I have a bad feeling about that hallway."

Anakin snorted. "Maybe it's the same bad feeling that you had before. You seem to get a lot of them, so I'm sure it's easy to get a little confused."

Obi-wan frowned. "I am not confused," he assured his padawan in a voice that dared the youth to argue. "Besides, this bad feeling is worse than the previous one."

"Worse… as in it's dangerous? Come on, master, this is the Jedi Temple. It's hardly dangerous, at least to us."

His master raised a brow and crossed his arms. "Really. So, aside from the toxic fumes coming from the cafeteria, little green trolls with gimer sticks, and insane masters who can't grow hair, you're telling me that we're perfectly safe? Is that it?"

Anakin was about to lash out with an equally witty comeback until he noticed the amusement dancing in Obi-wan's eyes and the grim line of his mouth that was barely containing a smile. So instead, he grinned back. "Yep, pretty much. Although you left out the Kel Dungan that we left back there. That thing gives whole new meaning to the word 'creepy'."

The smile broke free and Obi-wan chuckled a little before following Anakin down the new hallway. "Very true."

And they continued walking.

And walking.

And walking some more.

"I think they forgot they put this hallway here," Anakin said after a while.

"No argument there."

Anakin could barely see his master right next to him, the lighting was that dim. "Think we'll get somewhere?"

"If by somewhere, you mean closer to the gardens, then no, we won't," Obi-wan answered.

"Why not?"

"Because instead of waiting for a hallway that went east, you decided to pick one that went west."

"You could've said something!"

"I could've," Obi-wan agreed. "But then I decided that this way it wouldn't be my fault that we're lost."

Anakin glared at him, though he knew Obi-wan couldn't see. "Oh yes it would. You're older and you're the master. That means the responsibility falls on you. I won't be blamed at all."

"You forget your own reputation," Obi-wan quipped and left it at that.

"A reputation that I have only because I know how to have a little fun."

"I wouldn't call blowing up a microwave fun."

"That only happened once! You can't keep bringing that up!"

"Okay then… what about breaking your leg when the springs in the couch snapped and you fell straight through?"

"I was ten years old!" Anakin sputtered. "And besides, how was I supposed to know that Master Yoda gave you that couch! You could have warned me it was over two-hundred years old before I started bouncing on it!"

He heard Obi-wan huff rather than saw him. "So now it's my fault?"

"Yes!"

"I was under the impression that at ten years of age, you would know that you're a little too old to be bouncing on furniture."

"No one is ever too old to bounce on a couch," Anakin confidently assured him. "Unless, of course, you can hear your own knees pop when you stand up," he added, smiling.

"So that excludes you," Obi-wan smoothly countered with a wry glance.

"Shut up," Anakin muttered.

Then the hall seemed to brighten slightly and a door came into view as the hallway ended. "Huh."

"What? It's a door. Nothing miraculous," Anakin grumbled.

Obi-wan reached forward and turned the knob. Yes, it had a knob, not the technologically advanced mechanisms that most other doors had these days.

"I was expecting a little more than a dead end," Obi-wan explained before stepping into the dark room. He pulled the door shut after Anakin followed him.

The sensors hummed and the lights slowly flickered into life one by one. The two Jedi blinked. The room was a lot larger than they had expected.

'Never-ending' would be an accurate term.

"Where are we?" Anakin blurted, his voice echoing through the endless lines of towering shelves that filled up the vast area. It looked eerily similar to the Archives, only with no people and an annoying hum that came from old lighting that needed replacing.

His master glanced around, seemingly unperturbed. "Well," he finally breathed. "I do believe we are lost."

Anakin rolled his eyes. "Glad you noticed," he mumbled.

Obi-wan sent him a rather withering glare.

Anakin would have shrunk away if not for one thing. He smiled smugly. "On the bright side, this is no longer my fault."

"How do you figure that?" Obi-wan bit out, growing a little irritated at the situation.

Anakin gestured behind them. "You opened the door."

"Then I'll reopen it and we'll leave," he coolly replied, pivoting smoothly. He reached for the knob only to discover that there was no knob on this side of the door. Instead, there was a small, silver square demanding an access code. An access code that, apparently, not even Obi-wan had, and he was a member of the Council.

Obi-wan's jaw clenched in the way it did when he was barely containing himself and Anakin's shoulders sagged as did his face. "So we're stuck in here?"

"I'm sure there's another door," Obi-wan reasoned.

"Yeah, if we start walking maybe we can find it before the war is over."

"Anakin! So help me…" his master began, voice dropping into lethal calm rather than rising like most other people's did.

Knowing that Obi-wan wouldn't harm him, Anakin only held up his hands and backed away a little. "Hey, don't look at me. Your fault, not mine."

A Kel Dungan appeared out of nowhere and lunged at Anakin, tusks dripping, eyes red and flashing, claws extended. Anakin screamed and fell backwards flat on his butt. Right as the creature would have landed on him, it disappeared to be replaced by Obi-wan's smirking face.

Anakin scowled. "That was a dirty trick."

"You deserved it." Obi-wan started walking.

Anakin stood up and grudgingly followed, not looking forward to their search for a door. This was going to take _ages_. "This is still your fault," he muttered.

Obi-wan only chuckled.

* * *

_So, did you laugh? :) I hope so! Thanks to those who answered the poll! I'll be writing the next few chapters based on the top answers. Hope you're getting a few laughs in so far! :)_

_"Laughter is the corrective force which prevents us from becoming cranks." ~Henri Bergson  
_


	4. Annoying Buzzing Insect Part 1

"I can't believe we just wasted four hours getting lost in the Temple. The day's almost over for Pete's sake!"

Obi-wan watched, half amused and half exhausted, as his padawan kept muttering to himself on his way to the kitchen. It had taken them a good two and a half hours to get out of that blasted room and another hour or so to find their way back. Not to mention they hadn't even gone to the gardens.

He followed Anakin into the kitchen and leaned against the counter as his friend dug through the fridge for something to eat. "First we had to force down French toast made out of durasteel, then he trashes my droid, then he leads me on a wild bantha chase through the Temple, then he doesn't have the access code to get out of that stupid room, and now he has nothing edible to eat. How did I get stuck with such an incompetent master? Wow, I just used a pretty big word… incompetent. Sounded right…" Anakin trailed off and straightened up, holding something in his hand.

He turned to Obi-wan, who was now wearing a rather irritated look, and held it up. "What is this?"

Obi-wan blinked, coolly staring at the youth for a few moments longer, and then waved his hand dismissively. "I strongly suggest you don't eat that, Anakin, but knowing you, I honestly don't see any point in giving you a warning. Feel free to dig in." He walked away and dropped into the couch with a heavy sigh.

Anakin followed, still examining the wrapped up piece of… something… that closely resembled a moldy brownie. He sniffed it. "It smells chocolaty."

His master's eyes were shut, but he answered anyway. "That's because it is, Anakin. Remember that batch of brownies you attempted to make a few weeks ago?"

"_That's_ what this is?" Anakin tossed it into the trash. "Yuck! Why did you even keep that?"

"Anakin, could you do me a favor?"

"What?"

"I know this is asking a lot of you, but could you shut up and let me rest?"

Anakin frowned and stalked off towards his room. He was stopped by a high-pitched beeping, no, _screeching_ noise. He turned around and winced. "Is that _your_ com, master?"

Obi-wan groaned and sat up, reaching for his belt. "I've been meaning to replace it…" he muttered. Pressing a button, he raised it to his mouth. "Kenobi."

"Obi-wan? Yoda, this is. Pressing matters to attend to, I have, and able to get to my next class, I am not. I was wondering if willing to teach, you would be."

"Of course, Master. Anakin and I are always willing to help out," Obi-wan said, struggling to hold in a groan. He hung up and turned to look at Anakin. "The class doesn't start for another two hours, so would you mind keeping it down while I take a short nap?"

Anakin was staring at him with a mixture of irritation and shock. "I can't believe you just agreed to do that."

Obi-wan sighed and shut his eyes, relaxing into the couch. "It's only an hour-long class, Anakin, and initiates are hardly intimidating."

"It's not that!" Anakin groaned and sat down on the floor. "The class is on diplomatic resolutions. Sure, you're good at that kind of stuff, but I can't stand anything that has to do with diplomacy."

"Anakin… just shut up and let me rest."

"But –"

"Anakin…"

Anakin huffed and lay down. "Fine." And then it was dead silent, the only sounds being his and Obi-wan's breathing. He stared at the ceiling with mild interest, noting that, yet again, something in their apartment was brown. Unbelievable.

That was it. After the class was over, he was going to get the largest can of blue paint he could find and do something about this incredibly boring…

"Master?"

"Hm?" Obi-wan mumbled, barely awake.

"There's a weird-looking bug on our ceiling."

"That's nice, Anakin," Obi-wan muttered. Maybe Anakin would take the hint and leave it at that.

But no. He was lucky, but he wasn't _that_ lucky.

"No, seriously. This thing is pretty much the ugliest bug I have ever seen, and it looks like it could snap a finger off with those pincers…" Anakin trailed off at the sound of an exaggerated sigh from the couch. He frowned and glared at Obi-wan from his spot on the floor. "You _could_ show _some_ interest."

His master groaned and sat up. The glare he received in return almost made him regret those words. Almost. The other half of him was oddly pleased that he'd managed to get under Obi-wan's skin. "Anakin, honestly. Is this really so important that you keep me awake because of it? Because I hardly think that a _bug_ deserves the amount of attention you are giving it."

Anakin gestured at the ceiling where the insect was now moving slowly towards the wall behind the couch. "Have you _seen_ this bug?"

Obi-wan's gaze rose to the ceiling as he began to reply. "I don't really care what the thing looks like – oh Force!" He managed to roll off the couch right as the thing dropped onto it, landing and sticking without a sound. Obi-wan sat up and stared at it. "What is _that_?"

Anakin smirked. "See, I told you it was weird. And now it's attacking you. Maybe you insulted it."

Obi-wan gave him a disgusted look, but kept one eye on the bug that had started to make a low, buzzing sound. "Oh yes, I'm sure _that's_ why it tried to drop on me. I insulted it. I don't suppose an apology would make it stop."

"You don't have to get all snappy," Anakin protested. He watched the insect take off and fly back to the ceiling where it landed and was still again. "See, everything's fine now."

"Hmm…" Obi-wan stood up and moved to seat himself in the armchair in the corner of the room, a safe distance from the rather large dot on the ceiling. "Feel free to take the couch if you want it."

He shut his eyes once more, hoping both Anakin and the bug would leave him alone.

That lasted all of a minute.

"Master, it's following me."

Unbelievable...

Then he wondered why he was so surprised that they had found themselves, once again, in yet another preposterous situation. Being attacked by a bug. A _bug._ Obi-wan barely held in another groan and cracked an eye open. "Are you expecting me to do something about that?"

Anakin was backing away from the bug in a circular path that took him around their small living room. Obi-wan might have smirked if not for the fact that he was already well-passed the point of being annoyed.

Keeping one eye on the rather large, and impossibly ugly insect, Anakin managed to give his former master a pained look. "Master, it has _pincers_... and they're HUGE!"

The bug made itself heard once more in its low, buzz-like dialect.

Obi-wan attempted to show some interest and sat up. "They do appear to be quite sharp as well," he commented before smirking. "I'm afraid you're on your own, Anakin. Whether or not this bug wants to eat you is no concern of mine."

The one piece of vegetation in their apartment wobbled a little as Anakin bumped into it. He jumped slightly. "Ouch! Why do we still have that blasted piece of -" The bug jumped forward a little in response and Anakin instantly froze. "Master, I'm cornered. It's going to - oh kriff!" A much louder buzz sounded as Anakin ignited his lightsaber in one smooth motion, swinging at the bug as it flew towards him. He ducked and turned around.

The top half of their cactus lay on the floor close to Obi-wan's foot.

Said master was only staring at him, one eyebrow cocked. "It appears that you missed."

Anakin didn't look at him. He was staring, shocked, at the bug that now sat on the cauterized end of the rest of their spindly plant. It buzzed at him.

"Master, this thing is seriously... I mean... what the heck is it?"

Obi-wan rolled his eyes and leaned back once more. "Just let it have the cactus. Maybe it'll make it happy."

"Absolutely not," Anakin declared with a sudden boost of confidence. "This thing is not winning any sort of victory. It's an intruder and must be dealt with!"

What? _What?_

Now Obi-wan was appalled, and slightly mystified. It was an insect, for crying out loud! He sat up once more, distantly reflecting that he hadn't done this many sit-ups in quite a long time. "Anakin, it's hardly worth the attention, and why _can't_ it have the cactus? You just killed the poor plant and now you want to stake some sort of a claim to it?"

Anakin wasn't even paying attention. "Look at it!" He gestured with one hand. "It's mocking me! It just sits there making it's stupid little buzzing noise and rubbing its stupid little... erm... large pincers together while glaring at me through its two-dozen, beady little eyes . This will not be tolerated!"

_Tolerated_? _He sounds like ME..._ Obi-wan blinked. That just sounded wrong coming out of Anakin's mouth.

Unfortunately, he wasn't able to call his former padawan off for it, because the bug chose that moment to launch itself directly at Anakin's head.

"_Oh kriffitsattacknmastrahhhargh!"_ Anakin blindly swung with his still-ignited weapon.

Another piece of cactus flew off in a weird direction. Obi-wan deemed it unimportant and started to stand up until the chunk of spiny debris landed on his foot and stuck there. There was a brief pause in which everything came to a sudden and rather panicked pause.

Anakin stared at his former master, wide-eyed, the bug plastered on his forehead.

The pause broke with a thundering cry.

"OUCH!" Obi-wan shrieked. His body's reaction was to jerk itself backwards, propelling the typically dignified master back into the armchair with all of the gracefulness of a woozy gundark. He landed with a grunt and glared at the offending object. A jerk of his victimized foot sent the chunk of cactus speeding towards the ceiling where it struck, backed by an irritated force-push.

It stuck there and didn't move.

Meanwhile Anakin was having a much more difficult time of things. He had discarded his lightsaber, as it was seemingly useless against a determined projectile the size of an oversized pebble. Instead, he was desperately running his hands through his Force-forsakenly thick hair. He knew the bug had bit him on the forehead; he could feel it swelling up. But he'd rather it didn't bite him again and cause his whole head to swell up in the process.

"Master, help me!" he shouted.

He needn't have bothered to ask, as Obi-wan was stalking towards him... well... _limping_ towards him with the stormiest look he had ever seen. At that point, all thoughts of finding the bug vanished to be replaced with a plan for redirecting the focus of those dreadful eyes. "Master, I didn't mean to; it was an accident and I had no idea it would land on your foot..." he trailed off when Obi-wan stopped in front of him and unclipped his lightsaber.

How many Jedi had died because they had speared their former master's foot with a cactus?

The blue blade came to life and hung menacingly in Obi-wan's right hand, clenched in a white-knuckled grip. The vein on his former master's forehead was about ready to burst. "Master..."

"Where. Is. It?"

And praise the Force, his fingers found a hard shell. He gripped it without thinking and instantly felt another piercing sting. He threw it out of his hair and stepped back.

Obi-wan's blade flew in a blur, much more precise than Anakin's own attempts had been earlier. There was a sizzling sound as the lightsaber met the hard shell of the insect's back.

The bug ricocheted off and thunked into a wall, stunned for a moment.

Both Jedi stared, shocked.

"No way..."

Obi-wan's response was much less restrained.

"IMPOSSIBLE!" he all but roared. He wasted no time in following up his first attack with an all-out pummeling of downward stabs. The bug bounced and slid around the living room with each hit, but it would not break.

"How -"

The bug flew sideways and bounced off the couch.

"- is-"

It didn't even hit the ground before the lightsaber hit it again.

"-it-"

It flew towards the ceiling.

"-still-"

It bounced off the ceiling and rebounded back towards the floor where Obi-wan was waiting.

"-ALIVE?" He swung his lightsaber with two hands and the bug became a dark blur as it whistled through the air towards the kitchen. Anakin suspected it had landed in the sink judging from the deafening crash that followed.

Apparently, the dishes were piling up.

Obi-wan started to walk towards it, but Anakin decided it was time to intervene. "Um, master... it bit me."

Obi-wan stopped and looked at him, the anger fading into concern. "What?" Then he noticed the large welt on his friend's forehead and his eyes grew large. "It's swelling awfully fast, Anakin. Maybe we should get it checked out."

A buzz sounded from the kitchen and both Jedi froze, their eyes darting towards the sink.

"I think you made it mad... again," Anakin observed.

The older Jedi's face darkened once more. "Good. Maybe this time, it won't survive..." His face fell when the bug rose out from the pile of dishes. "_That_ is not the same bug that I tried to kill twenty times."

Anakin coughed.

Twice as many legs, and two additional pincers made the bug almost double in size. Anakin wondered for a second it the thing was related to Grievous.

And then there was no time to wonder at all, as the monster was speeding back at them with a loud whine.

"I think we should rethink our strategy," Obi-wan muttered before making a beeline for the door. Seeing his normally calm and rational former master flee in such a way caused Anakin to drop all thoughts of defending himself. He threw himself sideways, barely escaping yet another strike to his already swollen forehead.

Obi-wan grunted as Anakin smacked into his back.

"You don't have the door open yet?"

Obi-wan fumbled with the keypad and let out an irritated huff when the code didn't work. "You picked a rather convenient time to change the code again, Anakin," he muttered, voice dripping with every last bit of sarcasm he possessed, which was far more than any sentient being should be allowed.

Upon seeing the insect veer around and head towards them once more, Anakin grabbed Obi-wan by the shoulders and shoved him out of the way, not caring what sort of lecture he would receive later. "Here, I've got it. It'll just take a minute..." His fingers flew over the keypad as he started to put in the new code.

"If only we actually _had_ a minute!" Obi-wan snapped, igniting his lightsaber once more. The bug's first attempt to reach them came to a sudden halt as it rebounded off of the azure blade.

"Just shut up and cover my back!"

"This is embarrassing," Anakin heard him grumble.

"Less talk, please!"

"It's coming back..."

Another sizzle, but this time Anakin could hear it whistling again as it flew backwards. It was getting angrier, which was making it faster.

"I've almost got it..."

"DUCK!"

When Obi-wan said duck, Anakin ducked. Lesson learned a long, long time ago. He did so without hesitation and heard the bug smack into the door. It fell down in front of him and he shrieked in protest as it squirmed around in a daze.

Obi-wan's foot made contact and the bug flew sideways and skittered under the couch. He turned his blue-gray eyes on Anakin. "Come on, Anakin, MOVE!"

Anakin's palm smacked into the largest button on the keypad and the door swooshed open. Both Jedi dove through the opening and Anakin shut it as he flew by.

Several Jedi in the hallway stopped and stared, but most just kept walking. It was, after all, completely normal for incidents like this to happen at this particular apartment.

"Well," Obi-wan began from his place on the floor. "That was interesting."

Anakin glanced at him. "Nice of you to sound so indifferent."

"Your head looks like it's going to pop."

Anakin glared.

Obi-wan smirked and stood up. "I say first we go to the healers to have that thing treated and then we head to the Archives."

"The Archives?"

"To defeat one's enemy, one must know his enemy."

Anakin grinned and stuck out his hand. "Nice to have you on my side now."

Obi-wan shook the offered hand and then walked off. "Healers."

Anakin nodded. "Right."

* * *

_I know it was a long time in coming, but hopefully it was worth the wait! :) Part 2 of "Annoying Buzzing Insect" will be up hopefully soon!_

_Please review if you have a moment. I love getting feedback of any kind! Thanks once again for reading! :)_

_"Every blessed one of you feels better for that burst of laughter." ~ Ivor Novello_


	5. Annoying Buzzing Insect Part 2

_Enjoy! :) Thanks for your patience!_

* * *

Anakin sat on a bed in the Healers' Wing. The swelling in his head had gone down some, but he knew it still looked like he had Coruscant's largest zit pasted above his eyes, and the one on his hand had been shot with who knew how many needles.

Actually, he did know. Five, to be exact. All they had to do was bring the needle into the room and his former master had taken a direct line to the door. So now he sat on a bed.

Alone.

Obi-wan had muttered something about researching the bug and then left without another glance. Or at least that's what Anakin assumed he was doing. What he muttered hadn't been anything close to researching a bug.

In fact, Anakin preferred not to repeat it. To anyone. Something about the needle, but that's all he would say to anyone who asked. Words of that nature should never come out of a man as polite and dignified as Obi-wan, especially in the company of the Temple Healers, whom both of them owed their lives to on more than one occasion.

He supposed it was just as well that Obi-wan had left. It had taken a great deal of willpower and physical exertion just to get him through the doors. Besides, it wasn't like Anakin was in danger of losing his life, and that was, in fact, the only time that Obi-wan had promised to stay at his side. All other injuries didn't seem to matter apparently.

Okay, so they _mattered_. Obi-wan did care for him at least that much, but even Anakin preferred that his former master stay as far away from the place as possible. It was the only thing, _the ONLY thing,_ that made Obi-wan an instant grouch. And that was putting it in polite terms.

Obi-wan just wasn't Obi-wan around the Healers Wing, or any place that involved fixing up broken and/or bruised Jedi.

So Anakin let him leave. And now he sat there, alone, staring at a wall that had a single picture hanging on it. Some type of flower that was a rich shade of purple, sort of like the color of Mace's - ahem - _Master Windu's_ lightsaber. Anakin couldn't help but smile a little at that comparison. The color purple never seemed to appear on anything manly, and yet he had seen plenty of flowers and pretty dresses that were a perfect match.

He moved on from the picture and frowned. Another brown wall. What was the deal? Why did the Jedi like brown so much? It was such a boring color!

He was right in the middle of vowing to himself that he would do everything he was capable of doing to rid this place of that terribly bland color when a light tapping sounded on the door. He blinked and glanced at the chrono on the wall. It had only been twenty minutes. Surely the tests weren't done yet...

Oh yeah, he forgot. He had an overly paranoid former master that was even more overly paranoid about his former padawan hanging out in the Healers' Wing. A Healers' Wing that had... um... erm... some notworthrepeatingadjectives... needles.

"Anakin?" The Healer peered into the room.

The first thing Anakin noticed was the slightly stupefied look the guy had on his face. He barely held in a laugh. "What's up?"

The Healer blinked and then pushed the door open all the way. "You're free to go."

Of course he was. Twenty minutes was a new record. Not even when he had barely rolled his ankle had Obi-wan gotten him out of there so fast. "Um... okay. The tests were negative?"

They had wanted to make sure the bug's venom wasn't life-threatening. Anakin thought it would take them at least an hour to run their tests, what with how weird that bug had been and all.

The Healer hesitated. "Actually, we're still running a few, but everything seems to be checking out alright, and you didn't seem to have much of a reaction other than the swelling, so we're letting you go."

Anakin's mouth twitched a little in something of a smile. "You're _letting_ me go? There's not a certain bearded, too-stubborn-for-his-own-good, master standing in your little waiting room out there, _demanding_ that you let me out?"

The man finally smiled a little and he felt the Force vibrate with silent laughter. Healers had a somewhat different connection to the Force than most, but Anakin couldn't deny that it was still deep.

"This time he didn't even make it inside. He's standing in the hallway as steely as ever."

They shared a quiet laugh as Anakin rose from the bed. "I'm okay, though, right? Nothing bad's running through my system?"

The Healer made a dismissive gesture and held the door open for him. "Nah, you're good. You want something for Obi-wan, though? Maybe something to calm him down a little? As many gray hairs as you've given him, I think we've got you beat."

They reached the waiting room and Anakin could feel Obi-wan's presence right outside of the door. He smirked. "Don't bet on it," he retorted before shaking the guy's hand. "Thanks again."

"No problem. Try not to get stung again, though. The reaction's usually worse the second time around."

"Not to worry. That little piece of poodoo won't live long enough for that..."

"If you say so..."

He hesitated at the door.

Obi-wan opened it for him. Anakin smirked at the anxious tension oozing from the Jedi's every pore. "I almost died in there, but everything's okay. They managed to zap me back to life after the third try."

Obi-wan's shoulders sagged in relief, but he rolled his eyes anyway. "Oh just shut up and follow me. We've got business to attend to."

Anakin followed after him with a smile. "Just make sure you don't touch the bite on my head. They said it might pop if agitated - OUCH!" Anakin shoved the older Jedi's hand away. "I didn't mean it!"

Obi-wan turned back around with a smirk. "Obviously. Now, if you're done making fun of my fear of Healers, would you mind reading this?" He shoved a piece of flimsi into Anakin's hands.

Anakin frowned. "You didn't have to go and poke it. It really does hurt..." He stared at the long, scientific name at the top of the page. "I'm not even going to try and pronounce that and thank the Force we didn't have _that_ one in our apartment," he said, staring at the picture with wide eyes.

Obi-wan chuckled a little. "People call them 'Krill' for short, and it appears we are only dealing with a baby."

"That's embarrassing."

"But reassuring."

Anakin stared at the back of Obi-wan's head. "And still embarrassing. Don't tell anyone."

Obi-wan spared a glance over his shoulder. "Not a soul."

~~OOO~~

"Why are you known as one of the smartest Jedi in the Order again? Oh yeah, because you _think things through_." Anakin waved the flimsi in front of Obi-wan's face for emphasis. "And the only the thing the Order's famed Negotiator could come up with was a few paragraphs on the habitat and breeding behavior of the lightsaber-proof, death-defying Krill! Way to go. Can't say I'm terribly impressed, but hey, at least it's _something_. Could have been a whole lot more _something_, but I guess it's a start..." he trailed off, crumpling up the useless piece of flimsi and tossing it in a trash can across the hall. Then he slid down against the wall and planted his face in his hands. "We're doomed!"

Obi-wan merely stood there. Poker face and everything. Right down to the barely interested body language that included casually-crossed arms, a relaxed stance, and half-lidded eyes that indicated that he was paying as much attention to Anakin as he might pay to a Senator that had gone off on a rant. He was barely a step above peaceful slumber.

Without lifting his face, Anakin raised a hand and snapped once. "Okay, I'm done."

Obi-wan blinked, coming out of his trance. "Already? I'm shocked, Anakin. Honestly. I thought you might have more to say on my apparent lack of research ability."

Anakin shot him a withering glare. "Well, let me be bluntly honest then. It sucked."

Obi-wan gave a half-hearted shrug. "It's all I could find. And besides, I thought it slightly more important that you spend as little time as possible in the clutches of the Healers. Especially when they have extremely sharp needles that could easily go all the way through both of our arms put together. It was a very stressful situation for me."

"I can't imagine."

Obi-wan's eyes narrowed, though they were starting to dance with their usual ruefulness. "No, you can't. You're not afraid of anything remember? Mister 'Hero With No Fear'. Aren't you supposed to be capable of defeating anything? You shouldn't have any trouble with a Krill, least of all a _baby._"

Anakin got to his feet and shoved a finger into Obi-wan's chest, which Obi-wan pointedly ignored. "Don't go putting this on me now. You're the brains of this operation, and I clearly..." He took a moment to gesture in comparison. Height difference, age difference, muscle difference. "... _clearly_, am the brawn. You have to live up to your nickname as much as I do."

A ginger brow rose. "Somehow, I don't see how negotiation and insects are related. If you wish, though, I can certainly try to talk to our little friend. I'm sure he'd be more than willing to give up a few minutes of his precious time."

Anakin huffed and looked at the door to their apartment. "Just shut up," he mumbled.

Obi-wan leaned against the wall, watching his former padawan consider the keypad, his fingers hovering over the numbers as if unsure as to whether or not he should just barge right in. "Don't tell me you forgot the combination..."

"And if I did?"Anakin snapped.

_Well, he's annoyed._ "Break the door down," he said. "Because I still don't know this secret number that you are so bent on keeping from me."

Anakin made a face. "You deserve it. So..." He turned serious again. "You have a plan or not?"

"Actually, if you cared to pay attention to what you were reading instead of insulting my abilities, it did state that Krill prefer humid and fairly warm environments."

Anakin crossed his arms and gave him a look. "Okay, so what? Oh, I get it... we break the door down, dash into the kitchen, disconnect the cooling unit from the wall and then chase the little monster around until we can accurately drop the thing on its poor little head. Seems logical. It won't die from being squished, but it might freeze to death... yes, excellent idea," he finished, throwing up his hands in a gesture of utter futility. Then he caught the icy shade of gray that was slowly seeping into Obi-wan's gaze. "Um, what?"

"You really did forget the combination."

It wasn't a question. _Uh-oh._

"No I didn't." He mentally smacked himself. Lying to Obi-wan was beyond stupid.

"Yes you did, or you wouldn't have mentioned breaking down the door as part of the plan."

"Well so what! You gave me permission, so what does it matter?"

"I was being sarcastic!"

It was amazing how little things like breaking down a door could get Obi-wan so frazzled. It wasn't like it was the end of the world, not to mention that there was an evil, Grievous-like bug staking claim to their apartment.

"Breaking down a door is _not_ just a little side note, Anakin!"

Oh yeah, he had a sorta, kinda, slightly strong bond with this man, so... he was projecting. Not thoughts, but feelings. Unfortunately, Obi-wan was good at reading feelings.

"It is when disconnecting the cooling unit becomes part of _the_ plan," he retorted. "And don't try and deny it, because you did say that it was _the_ plan!"

Obi-wan's gaze didn't waver. "My plan includes the cooling unit, yes, but it doesn't include ripping it off the wall. You're already going to have to pay for a door, Anakin. Surely you don't want to pay for that too."

"Again, it's all coming back to me."

"Naturally. I'm the brains, remember? And you clearly..." Obi-wan dramatically gestured at Anakin's tall and muscular frame. "... _clearly, CLEARLY_, are the brawn. Any mistakes we make certainly wouldn't be _my_ fault. I'm simply too smart for that."

Oh how Anakin just _loved_ getting into arguments with _this_ man.

Anakin turned back to the keypad and pinched the bridge of his nose, trying desperately to remember the combination. Then he lowered his hand, not wanting to be accused of taking on a characteristic of "Annoyed Obi-wan". "So what _was_ your invincible plan, then?"

Obi-wan continued to watch Anakin stare at the keypad for a moment. Then he just shook his head in disapproval. "You can't remember it, can you."

Anakin shot him a glare. "No. So deal with it. It's just a door."

"I see you've failed to mention the fact that this is already the third door we've had in four months."

"It's nice that you see that. Now what's the plan?"

Obi-wan sighed and ran a hand through his hair, clearly bothered about losing another door. "Very well... I'll stand by the cooling unit with the door open while you lure it over..."

"Lure it," Anakin repeated. "As in get its attention and then run for my life? That kind of luring?"

Obi-wan thought about it and then nodded. "Sounds about right."

"How about _you_ lure it over and I'll hold the door open? You have far more experience in luring things into traps than I do."

He watched Obi-wan plant his feet and cross his arms. Thought it looked similar to the previously uninterested stance, he knew that this was now the don't-argue-with-me stance. Even though he could make that distinction, he was hardly affected by it. "I'm being serious. I've already been bitten twice, and I really don't want another one. It hurts."

"And you think I want to be bitten?"

Anakin smirked. "Well no, but I know for a fact that's not why you don't want to be the bait. You don't want to get stuck with an abnormally long needle."

A curt nod. "Yes, well, there is that minor detail. There is also the fact that I am _always_ the bait, and usually in life-or-death situations where I'm running for my life from, oh I don't know, say... a few dozen destroyers backed by a couple battalions of battle droids that just happen to be led by Grievous, or possibly Ventress, while you _attempt_ to set up an ingenious trap of some sort. I'm still trying to forget the firebeetle incident for your sake."

Anakin smiled. "Yep! And here you are, alive as ever, so I guess it's just something that you're good at. And the firebeetles were not my fault. You tripped, remember? I can't help it if you're a klutz."

"I admit that I can be a bit clumsy at times, " Obi-wan granted, "but it didn't help the situation by setting up the ambush by the largest firebeetle nest on the planet. That was entirely your fault."

Anakin waved dismissively. "Whatever... so, you're going to stand by the cooling unit while I run towards you with the bug behind me, and then what? I pull off a somewhat graceful face plant, the bug zooms over me and you shut it in?"

Obi-wan nodded, his mouth lifting a little at the edges. "Good enough. I'm interested to see how you're going to pull off a _graceful_ face plant, though. You and grace don't exactly get along very often."

"Here's hoping that will change," Anakin muttered before brandishing his saber. He twirled it in a dramatic flourish. "Ready?"

"Whenever you are," Obi-wan answered with a roll of his eyes. He was purposely ignoring the Jedi passing by in the halls for the sake of his own dignity. By now, though, he figured he didn't have much left. He cringed when Anakin slammed his saber through the door. _The third door in little over four months and here goes the fourth. Why do I even bother with a replacement? It's not like we have anything to hide..._

"Master, you're projecting. Just get over it."

Obi-wan barely held back a sharp retort. Instead, he watched with a pained expression as Anakin slowly, very slowly, cut through the door. "If you keep it up we might be through the door in a few hours, Anakin."

"It's a thick door!"

"I figured maybe it would help prevent another one of your 'accidents'."

"_You_, at least, should know better than that," Anakin said. He had one more side to go and he would be through. "We really shouldn't even have a door. They're useless, really. Jedi have nothing to hide. It's just another waste of space and it takes too much time to get through it..."

"Especially when you happen to forget the combination..."

Anakin nodded. "Especially then."

Obi-wan couldn't help but cross his fingers as Anakin's blade neared the spot it needed to be. He was so close! The door creaked a little and then gave way as Anakin pushed it through. "Finally!" Obi-wan sighed. "Okay, you locate the Krill while I head for the cooling unit."

Anakin didn't put away his lightsaber. "Got it," he said. Then he slowly stalked through the opening, listening for the slightest noise that might indicate the little monster's location. He heard Obi-wan, barely a whisper, head for the kitchen.

And then he wasn't heading for the kitchen. Instead, he was rocketing in the opposite direction, back towards where Anakin was standing. "What - ?"

"Incoming!" Obi-wan shouted before diving head first behind the couch. He landed without a sound, but Anakin felt a sudden stab of pain in the Force.

"OUCH!" A muttered string of... notworthrepeatingwords... followed. As did a small chunk of cactus, which thudded into the ceiling right next to the other piece that had speared his former master's foot earlier that day. "Anakin, put your Force-forsaken weapon away before you slice up the rest of that blasted plant!"

Anakin was most certainly _not_ going to put it way, as the aforementioned Krill was zipping straight towards him. "Master, it's attacking - !" He swung the blade blindly and heard a low whistle as the little bugger rebounded off. Anakin turned and leapt over the couch...

... and landed right on top of Obi-wan who was still picking needles out of his arm. The older Jedi grunted as he was pasted to the floor by his overgrown former padawan. Anakin wasted no time in rolling off and peering around the edge of the couch. "I don't think it knows where we are..."

"How fortunate for you," was the dry reply.

Anakin turned to find his former master staring at him through narrowed eyes, hair sticking straight up in all directions. "What's your problem?"

"_You_ are my problem. I think I'm better off with the bug." Before Anakin could offer a reply, Obi-wan had already stood up and drawn his lightsaber. "New plan. _I'll_ be the bait. I obviously don't know how much better I am at it than you. Go open the cooling unit."

Anakin blinked. "Um... that's all the way across the apartment."

"Thank you kindly, but I already know the location of the cooling unit, Anakin. Now, if you would, please go open it."

"But - !"

"_Now."_

Anakin gritted his teeth and stood up. There was no arguing once that tone was in play. None. He took in the situation quickly and efficiently, spotting the Krill sitting on the floor between him and the kitchen. It was humming a low note and facing him directly. "I think we're both the bait at this point, master."

Obi-wan hesitated in answering, which usually meant he agreed.

"New new plan," Anakin stated, and started running. Even when the Krill rose and started to hover in front of him, he still didn't stray from his course. "I'm going to - "

"Just don't miss."

Anakin smiled. It was funny sometimes, the way they could read each other so well. Right as the bug attacked, he leapt high and over it, swinging with his lightsaber on the way by. It connected with the hard shell and sent the thing flying towards Obi-wan. He didn't have to tell him not to miss. He knew he wouldn't.

Instead, he took two large steps and slid across the smooth kitchen floor straight into the cooling unit. His hand latched around the handle and he yanked the door open right as he heard a high-pitched whistle headed for the back of his head.

"Anakin, duck!" Obi-wan yelled.

He ducked.

The crash was deafening, but Anakin had enough presence of mind to slam the door shut again.

"Anakin, it's not in there!"

What? He turned to stare at the older man. "What? YOU MISSED?" Then he stared, dumbfounded, as Obi-wan Force-pulled a plastic bowl from out of the sink into his hand and dove for the counter. The bowl slammed onto the surface, covering a large, black dot that was squirming across it.

"Ha!" Obi-wan shouted triumphantly. "Got it!"

Anakin continued to stare. "You missed."

Obi-wan was studying the Krill trapped beneath the Tupperware container. "No, I didn't. I got it; it's right here."

"You missed the cooling unit!" Anakin growled, pointing at the intended target.

"Oh, that." Obi-wan didn't take his eyes off of the bug. "Yeah, I wasn't counting on it changing course in midflight. Fortunately, it couldn't stop itself and slammed into... well... um... I did tell you not to leave it there, Anakin..."

Realization dawned on Anakin and his face paled. He slowly turned, dreading what he was about to find and hoping that there was a sliver of a chance he wouldn't find it.

But he did. A shattered starfighter model. Forty _more_ credits wasted. Along with a few HUNDRED hours of precious time spent building it.

"You broke it..."

Obi-wan finally looked at him, both brows shooting up. "Excuse me?"

"You broke it!"

"_I_ didn't break anything!" Obi-wan gestured at the bug. "This thing changed course!"

"But you hit it!"

"It was an accident, Anakin, and who in their right mind would display a model in the kitchen anyway?"

"So now it's my fault?"

"You put it there, not me."

"I thought it might be safer in here than in my room!"

"Clearly, it wasn't."

"Clearly!"

The bowl jumped.

Both sets of eyes jerked towards it and Obi-wan slammed both hands down to hold it in place. It jumped again and he jerked back in surprise. "Anakin, help me out!"

His former padawan rushed forward and applied his own strength to holding the bowl down, but it was to no avail. "It's not working!" he cried. "Run for it!"

They broke apart at the same instant the bug shot up. Obi-wan grabbed the handle to the cooling unit and jerked it open, quickly positioning himself behind the door while Anakin settled for running back into the living room while shrieking like a wounded bantha. "You're leaving me!" Obi-wan cried. The bug located his voice and shot towards him like it had been shot out of a blaster.

Apparently, it was mad.

Obi-wan ducked and pushed off of the cooling unit, sliding across the floor. He quickly jumped to his feet and headed for the couch for cover.

"You're not going to make it!" he heard Anakin yell at him from somewhere to his left.

"Blast it," Obi-wan muttered. He sensed the bug nearing him and pivoted at the last instant, saber flaring blue. The bug ricocheted off the beam and bounced off of the floor.

And out the doorway it flew. Shrieks from the hallway followed immediately after, causing Obi-wan to wince. Anakin walked over to stand beside him. "If anyone asks, it was your fault."

Obi-wan sincerely hoped that nobody had been bitten. "This wouldn't have been a problem if we still had a door."

"Also your fault."

A pause. "Um... how?"

Another pause. This one much longer. "I don't know."

"Then for your sake, I hope nobody asks."

* * *

_Please review if you can spare a few seconds! Thanks for reading! :)_

_"Hearty laughter is a good way to jog internally without having to go outdoors." ~ Norman Cousins_


	6. Wrath of the Windu Part 1

_And it continues... enjoy! :)_

* * *

The Temple cafeterias were alive with energy, Jedi flooding in and out in the dozens. Smells of all sorts were wafting through the halls, most quite putrid, a few almost halfway divine. As a result, said hallways were busy, some Jedi heading for the source of the smells and others headed in the opposite direction at twice the speed.

Closer to the apartments, the smells weren't quite as strong, but the hallways were just as busy since this was a busy time of day. Younglings and initiates were headed to and from classes, Knights were headed for the training salles, Healers were taking breaks, and Council members were stalking to who knows where...

Well, _one_ Council member was stalking. The rest were probably steering clear, as most Jedi were doing. Mace Windu was being given a rather large berth by the passing Jedi. Some even stopped, took one look at him, and turned around, willing to take a longer detour instead of getting any closer.

Mace was mad. No, not mad. _Furious._ He knew that as a Jedi he was not supposed to allow this particular emotion to overwhelm him, but he walked that line often enough. Besides, he knew that once he had thrown those two blasted fools out of a double-digit story window, everything would be fine. It was a justifiable outlet. Dark side averted.

And everyone knew that Coruscant, no, the _galaxy_ would be much better off without them. Better, safer, and maybe he would be able to get some of his sanity back.

Yes. It was a brilliant idea. Then a thought struck him and he frowned. This was only the eighteenth story. He needed to go higher... MUCH higher. Those two blasted gundarks would probably find a way to survive being tossed out of a window at this height. Knowing them, they would find a way to sprout wings and fly to Dex's for some tubers and jawa juice. Mace couldn't have that. No, no, no, no... new plan. Knock them out, take turbolift ten floors higher, blast out window, and drop them. Yeah, ten more floors. That would do the trick, right?

One more turn and he would be at their apartment. He stopped and sighed. It was nice to have dreams. Unfortunately, this particular one would never happen, because Mace really wasn't that cruel, though he often wondered how much satisfaction he would get out of something like that.

The throbbing welt on his forehead told him he would, without a doubt, feel supremely satisfied. Kriffin' Krill. Where had they even gotten a hold of one of those monsters? He knew it had been them; it couldn't have been anyone else, because no one else would unleash something like that on a Council meeting.

Kenobi had probably tried to stop the boy from doing it. But he had obviously failed, and failed miserably.

Once Mace had him dangling in open air thirty levels up, he might just tell the young master what had caused him to be in that predicament...

_No, Mace. Think Jedi thoughts. Think Jedi thoughts..._

_Blast it! Where are the two idiots?_

He careened around the corner only to come face to face with yet another of their infamous disasters. The door was gone. Well, technically it wasn't gone. It was lying in pieces in front of the door frame it should have been attached to.

Skywalker must have had an 'accident' again. Mace wasted no time thinking about it, however, as the dynamic duo had already replaced their door three times in only a few months. He barged over and poked his head inside. "Kenobi!" he bellowed, not bothering to keep the menace out of his voice.

No answer.

His frown turned into a thunderous scowl. "KENOBI!" he roared.

Still no answer.

He now knew for a fact that they were not here. Kenobi might be slightly intimidated by that particular voice but he certainly wasn't the type to hide or cower in a corner somewhere.

Wonderful. So he would have to delay punishing them yet again. Typical.

Mace then took a moment to really look at the place he had entered, eyes widening at its current state. Apparently, the two Jedi had taken it up a notch this time and went for not only destroying the door, but the entire apartment as well.

Skywalker must have had a _big_ 'accident'.

The couch was overturned and sported some tears where the lumpy insides were starting to emerge. Mace tilted his head, thinking. Judging by its position, only a few feet from the wall leaving just enough space between the two for a couple of bodies... he smiled. So the Krill had its way with them too. They just hadn't had the presence of mind Master Mundi had had during their meeting. Of course the floor-to-ceiling windows were gone now, but it was a small price to pay for getting rid of that horrendous monster.

His eyes traveled from the couch to a corner of the room where some singe marks streaked the walls. Clearly, someone had tried to slice the bug in half with a lightsaber. It was also clear that they had not only missed the bug, but had decapitated the poor cactus that dwelt in that particular corner.

A few pieces of the spiny plant were scattered on the floor, and it was only experience with the two that made him glance at the ceiling as well. His expression flattened at what he found. Two chunks were imbedded a couple inches in and cracks were fraying out from where they had struck.

Mace didn't even want to know how that had happened.

One glance into the kitchen and he headed for the door - ahem - door_way_. The kitchen needed no explanation, as did nothing else. It was simply the presence of Kenobi and Skywalker that caused these things to happen.

Mace just wanted to know where they had gone.

He only had to wait a few seconds for his answer to come walking into the trashed living quarters. Anakin strolled in with a frown, muttering something about a datapad and how he would never be able to find it, because Obi-wan was organized, and he could never find anything when stuff was organized, and why did they need the datapad anyway when Obi-wan had the whole kriffin' thing memorized...?

The young knight jerked to a halt when he noticed the Korun master watching him. "Master Windu! Um..." he trailed off. Then he offered a sheepish hello.

Mace stared him down. "What. Happened?"

"Happened? Um, well, there was a little problem earlier with this - oh, I see you found it!" Anakin suddenly smirked, catching Mace off guard. Usually the boy never had the audacity to perform such an act in his presence. "It bit me too, in the same spot. I don't think mine's as big, though..."

"Yes, Skywalker, I'm well aware of the fact that I have a rather large and balloonish welt on my head, as do you. That isn't what I asked you."

The smirk disappeared.

It was replaced by a look that Mace never expected to see on the boy's face. Kenobi was rubbing off on him.

One brow rose indignantly while he crossed his arms in front of his chest. Whatever happened to the usually terrified former padawan that Mace typically encountered? That he had, in fact, encountered this morning?

"Yes I know. I heard you, but I'm sort of in the middle of something. I'll explain later..." Anakin trailed off and took a slow look around the room. "Now where could he have put that thing...?"

Mace was dumbfounded. The blasted fool had just blatantly dismissed him. _Him_. Mace Windu, Council member, legendary Jedi Master, creator of Vaapad, victor of countless duels and even more battles -

"Master Windu?"

Mace blinked and focused on Skywalker. Before his brain could catch up with his mouth, he found himself answering to the boy's request, whatever it was. "What?"

Anakin didn't even look at him, but instead made a rather dramatic gesture around the whole room. "If you were Obi-wan, and you had just gotten done reading the most boring, bland, drab, and most incredibly unimportant datapad in the entire galaxy... where would you put it?"

Really? _Really?_ Mace almost slapped a hand to his forehand, but then remembered that he had a giant welt that would probably explode if he did so. So, regretfully leaving out the fact that the boy had just used three adjectives that meant basically the same thing, he settled for giving Skywalker a disbelieving look and repeated the Knight's earlier gesture. "Considering your living space is now a disaster, I hardly think it matters where Obi-wan might have stashed the thing! Now what happened!"

Anakin still didn't look at him. He did hold up a finger, though, a universal sign that meant a light bulb had just gone off in his head. "But it _does_ matter, because if I know where he put it _before_ that thing laid waste to our apartment, then I can, by way of my superior sleuthing skills, find out where it went!"

Tinges of red were beginning to cloud his vision, but Mace forced them away. _Stay light, stay light, Mace, you can do it..._ Breathe in, breathe out. He was getting nowhere with this fool. Time to try a different tactic. "Fine. If I were Obi-wan, I probably would have put the datapad back where I found it, and knowing him, it was probably in his room somewhere, neatly placed on a shelf in alphabetical order, organized by topic with a little reference tab attached to it."

There. Perhaps Skywalker would take the hint and find the datapad sooner.

"A good guess," the boy said, stepping over a chunk of cactus on his way to the kitchen. "But Obi-wan likes to read it in the morning, while he drinks tea, and I don't think he had time to put it back."

Mace glared at him, his patience wearing thin. He was almost ready to start using more... persuasive... tactics to get Skywalker to lead him to Kenobi. Once he had the two of them together, things would start to move along nicely. "If you already knew, then why did you ask?" he fairly growled.

"If you're talking to me, you're not trying to kill me. That was the first lesson master taught the class today." Anakin shot him a grin. "I wanted to try it myself, see if it works."

New plan. Drag the twerp to whatever class Kenobi was hiding out in, teach the class how lesson number one does _not_ work, take _both_ twerps ten stories higher, drop out of blasted-out-window. Brilliant.

"Hmmm," Mace ground out. "Well for now, it appears that it's working, and what class, exactly, is he teaching?"

Skywalker waved his hand dismissively while he dug through the mess of papers scattered all over the table. "Something on diplomatic somethings or other." He snatched a single paper out of the pile and held it up. "Can you read this?"

Mace sighed. It was a wonder Kenobi ever managed to get anything done with this boy. He took the paper and looked at it. He squinted, tilting it to the side. "No. Where did you get it?"

Anakin shrugged. "I don't know, but he was looking at it earlier and neither of us could read it. I thought maybe you would be able to." He sifted through more sideways stacks of papers and finally shouted. "Ha! Found it!"

A datapad miraculously appeared from out of the wreckage. Mace silently thanked the Force and gave Anakin a stern look. "Well? Lead the way."

Anakin didn't move. He only grinned again. "You're not mad anymore, are you."

"Yes, Skywalker, I am still quite mad. Now please, take me to this class you two are attempting to teach."

A dark brow rose. "But not _as_ mad."

Mace started to disagree, but then reconsidered. This had to be another of Kenobi's clever ideas, because to his astonishment, he really wasn't that mad anymore. Just... slightly annoyed. It was a strange feeling. "I guess not," he granted. "I don't suppose changing the topic and getting me involved in your little search was yet another of your former master's grand ideas?"

Anakin brushed by him, smirking on his way by. "Nope. It was mine."

Mace blinked. "_Yours?_"

"It used to work on Obi-wan too."

"Really?" Mace didn't quite believe _that_.

"Well... actually, it only worked once. It usually only works once, now that I think about it. Hmm... "

"Anakin?"

The boy stopped, seemingly shocked that Mace had used his first name. "Yeah?"

"Start walking."

Anakin turned and walked out the door - door_way._

"When are you bringing us a new door?"

"Well, _Anakin_, I only just found out that your current one has mysteriously been sliced to pieces... again!"

"It's not _my_ fault I forgot the combination."

Mace replayed that sentence in his head, still not quite sure he had heard right. "Then whose fault is it?" Mace demanded, wondering who one earth the boy would attribute his own forgetfulness to.

"Obi-wan's."

"Obi-wan's?" Mace asked, an echo of disbelief following. He felt the boy's smug smile rather than saw it.

"Yep! He's the brains of the operation, and I clearly..." He gestured to himself, dramatically. "_... CLEARLY_, am the brawn. Said so himself. I'm not counted upon to remember stuff or even think, really."

This time Mace _did_ smack his forehead. Hard. "OUCH!" he shrieked.

Apparently, Anakin did at least a _little bit_ of thinking, because he wisely chose to not say anything else.

* * *

_Still laughing I hope! I thought it was about time Mace got involved again. )_

_"Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing." ~ William James_

_Reviews of any kind are always appreciated! :) _


	7. Wrath of the Windu Part 2

_Watch out for the Windu..._

_Enjoy! :)_

* * *

Mace followed Anakin through each hallway, carefully keeping a safe distance that allowed him to both leap out of the way of any disaster he might cause while at the same time keeping a close eye on him. The plan backfired when Anakin stepped into a turbolift.

Mace immediately planted his feet and crossed his arms. "We should take the stairs," he suggested in a tone that made it sound like anything but a suggestion.

This only caused the younger Jedi to cross his own arms and glare back. Mace was starting to wonder at what point in the day the youth had decided to be so indignant. "Why? The lift is faster," he argued.

"And potentially lethal," Mace snapped before heading for the nearby staircase. "You and your former master have a tendency to cause those things to malfunction and destroy themselves."

A loud, dramatic sigh sounded from behind him as Anakin stepped from the lift. "Fine, we'll take the stairs, but you do realize that there are approximately five-hundred and seventy-two stairs between here and where we need to be, right?"

Mace openly smiled at him and gestured with a wide sweep of his arm. "At least I know I'll come out of the experience alive and breathing."

Anakin muttered something under his breath and trudged by him. Mace waited until he was at least fifteen stairs up before following.

Five-hundred and seventy-two stairs later, he was standing on floor twenty-two beside an out-of-breath Anakin who was staring at his mechanical arm with a rather comical expression. "How are they even bent that way?"

Mace just _knew_ the same expression was mirrored on his own face, but the fingers really were bent in some weird directions. Not to mention that his pinky had literally snapped off and was barely dangling there by a couple of wires. "Maybe if you had been wearing the glove that you're supposed to be wearing, they would still be in their normal positions."

"I haven't replaced it yet."

Mace's eyes rose from the mangled digits to the young Knight's face. "The glove? What did you do to it?"

Anakin shrugged. "It melted."

"How -" Mace started to ask, until Anakin sent him a withering look. "Okay... I suppose that one can wait 'til later. But this still wouldn't have happened if you hadn't tripped all those times."

Anakin huffed and started walking again. "Be glad it wasn't more. There's a reason Obi-wan and I take the lifts and not the stairs. Ever since he broke his leg on the rail we - oops."

Mace was attempting to drill a couple of holes through the boy's head with his eyes alone, but to his disappointment, it wasn't working. "I thought you said that happened on a _mission_."

The pace of Anakin's steps quickened as he tried to pull away from Mace. "Well, from a certain point of view, it kinda sorta did. We were just exiting the hangar bay, so we weren't _technically_ in the Temple yet..."

Mace grabbed his shoulder and spun him around. The boy nervously twisted his dangling pinky while staring at the wall. "The hangar bay? You were exiting the hangar bay? Enlighten me, then, because I'm slightly confused as to how Obi-wan managed to break his leg on a staircase that consists of _maybe_ ten steps."

The pinky snapped off, causing a few sparks to fly. "It's complicated."

"No kidding!" Mace grunted. "And then you lied in the reports!"

Anakin finally met his eyes. "Well Obi-wan wrote them! I'm not the only one you should be yelling at!"

"So take me to him!" Mace raged.

Anakin threw the pinky to the floor and spun on one heel, stomping away with Mace breathing down his neck.

This floor of the Temple was typically quiet since most of the rooms were classrooms, and at this time of the day, with only a few classes left, Mace would have expected almost complete silence in the hallways. So when they rounded a corner to be bombarded with shouts coming from an open door a few rooms down, he knew they had reached their destination.

"That's unfair!"

"Give the people what they want!"

"This isn't a democracy!"

"It most definitely IS!"

"YOU SUCK!"

A loud roar of approval sounded from the open door, followed by an even louder flood of laughter. Anakin had stopped, stunned, but Mace pushed by him and stepped through the opening, only to be hit on the forehead with a stray crumpled up piece of paper.

_Breathe in, breathe out. They're only children..._

Said children were all standing on their desks, some jumping up and down pumping their fists while shouting statements of approval or disagreement. The desks circled the room, leaving a clear spot in the middle, where Mace could assume his target was standing. The desks were in his way.

No matter.

"Put it to vote!"

"Yeah, let's vote!"

"But you don't count; you're in a different sector!"

"But I'm still affected!"

"I'LL decide who gets to vote!" an accented voice broke in.

"THIS IS NOW A DICTATORSHIP!" Mace bellowed, inwardly pleased that he'd come up with a statement that was somewhat relevant. Every voice faded and died as every head turned to stare at him. He stared back, knowing that every individual in the room would be intimidated, except maybe one. "And _I_ am in charge," he snapped.

"Ah, here we go," that blasted accent continued. "Class, the Chancellor has now arrived."

A few chuckles were wisely covered up with loud, hacking coughs that lasted for a few minutes. Mace felt his blood start to boil. "Show yourself, Kenobi," he growled.

The sea of children obediently parted to reveal the Jedi Master standing in the middle. "I was wondering when you'd show up," the fool muttered. "Have you brought Anakin along with you? I believe he was after a datapad of mine..."

Mace glared at the shorter master, annoyed at the aura of calm he always presented. "He's waiting in the hallway - "

"I'm right here, master," Anakin butt in, shoving his way around Mace and ignoring the dark look he received in return.

Obi-wan's face went from rueful to concerned to annoyed in a fraction of a second. "Anakin, what _happened_ to your hand?" He grabbed it and examined it while Anakin struggled to come up with an answer. Obi-wan glowered when he noticed the missing finger. "And where is the pinky?"

"It, um... well, it sort of... snapped... off," the boy stammered.

A ginger brow shot up. "Snapped off. Would you care to elaborate?"

Anakin snatched his hand back with a glare. "No."

"He tripped," Mace supplied. "Five times. I made us take the stairs in hopes of arriving in one piece, as opposed to not arriving at all by way of turbolift. You can thank me later."

Kenobi's naturally penetrating eyes jerked to him, but Mace would not be easily frightened, especially by that. Where Kenobi was concerned, one did not worry about the look of the face, but what came out of it.

"Thank you? For what... this?" Kenobi asked, grabbing Anakin's hand for emphasis. Then he turned and glared at his former student again. "And why the Force did you agree to take the stairs?"

Anakin merely shrugged. "He made a good a point."

Kenobi glanced at Mace. "Which was what?"

"Well, master, we _do_ tend to destroy most of the lifts we use."

"But at least it's only the lift that gets destroyed, not you or me," Kenobi retorted. "You know better."

"I beg to differ," Mace muttered under his breath. He rolled his eyes at the glare that came his way. "For Pete's sake, Kenobi, this is _Anakin_ we're talking about!"

"Hey!" Anakin shouted.

Kenobi crossed his arms. "Why are you here, Master Windu? I'm trying to teach a class, so please don't tell me that you came all this way to blame us for something that wasn't our fault."

Mace mirrored the other master's stance and drew himself to his full height. "It has to do with the Krill."

"You're wasting my time, Mace."

He almost wanted to smile, then. Once Obi-wan started talking to him on a first name basis, it meant that he was supremely agitated, something that didn't happen very often. After everything that had happened today, Mace was actually looking forward to a good fight with this man, one where he could finally beat some sense into the guy. "The proof is written all over Anakin's head," he said, pointing. "That bug came from you two, and you will be punished for it."

A ginger brow shot up defiantly. "Hardly definitive. The same evidence is plastered all over your own head."

Mace glared at him.

Obi-wan smirked in return. "What? Are you denying the fact that you have a rather... um... _bulbous_ welt on your forehead?"

Mace could feel his eye beginning to twitch. "I am denying no such thing," he spat. "You, however, are being entirely unreasonable and, to be frank, uncooperative. Two things that are becoming more and more frequent." Kenobi crossed his arms again and Mace almost rolled his eyes at the gesture. It was classic Obi-wan. "Besides, you _know_ that bug came from your apartment. Don't try and deny it. Your place was a wreck when I arrived, not to mention that you need a new door yet _again_, something that Anakin wholeheartedly claims was your fault..."

Obi-wan gestured to himself. "_My_ fault?" His eyes shot to Anakin who was attempting to shrink behind a few initiates and their desks. The kids were trying to remain serious out of respect to the Jedi Masters that were arguing, but apparently it was proving to be quite difficult, as most of them were trying extremely hard to stifle giggles. Obi-wan peered through the sea of legs and zeroed in on his former padawan. "Anakin, how in the name of the Force, is it _my_ fault _you_ forgot the combination?"

"Um... because?" Anakin offered.

Obi-wan sighed, shaking his head. "Nevermind..." He looked once more to Mace. "Yes, we need a new door, something that I am apparently responsible for. However, that has nothing to do with matters concerning the Krill, something that I - _WE_ - are _not_ responsible for," he finished.

"You have yet to deny that the insect came from your apartment."

A muscle in the shorter master's jaw began to twitch. "Why is that of importance? Just because it came from our place does not mean that we intentionally 'unleashed' it, as you put it."

"Well _someone_ has to pay for all the damage, and reputation alone puts all of the blame on you two, whether there's truth in it or not," Mace retorted. When Obi-wan's eyes narrowed and his mouth opened, Mace held up a hand. "It might not be your fault the Krill got into the Temple, but it is your fault for handling it in such a destructive manner. _That_ I can blame you for."

"And what would you have us do?" Obi-wan asked. "Just leave the thing alone? Let it do what it wants? Mace, you saw the size of that thing and how ghastly it was. It sent Anakin to the Healers, for Pete's sake!"

"Perhaps," Mace coolly replied, regarding the younger master with a scowl. "But I don't think that warrants slicing up your cactus and throwing the pieces at the little monster. There are much more efficient methods than that." Mace's brow furrowed after he finished. Why was Anakin edging towards the door...?

Said door slammed shut and it took Mace a few extra seconds to realize that it had been Obi-wan's wrist that had flicked in irritation, not Anakin's. Typically it was the younger of the two that engaged in the frivolous side of Force-use.

Obi-wan's gaze hardened a little, though it was no longer aimed at Mace. "Actually, the cactus might have worked had it been intended for the Krill. In fact, that might have been part of my dear former padawan's plan... shame the blasted plant hit _me_ instead. I suppose I can't blame him, though. The Krill _was INTENTIONALLY _ mocking him and staking claim to a plant that had been with us for the better part of three years. There must have been some sort of attachment between the two of them, because I can't think of a better reason as to why he would attack a bug the size of a pebble for simply sitting on his poor, helpless, spindly, Force-forsaken, blasted piece of chizk plant..."

Mace stared, not quite knowing what to say. Apparently, whatever had happened with the cactus went way deeper than he had thought.

Anakin finally came out from hiding and shoved his way forward. "It _was_ mocking me! And it's not _my_ fault you didn't see the piece flying at you. You could have moved!" He shoved his way to the center and stood toe to toe with his former master, glaring down his nose.

Obi-wan was hardly intimidated. In fact, he was more than a little annoyed at this point, something Mace was thoroughly enjoying, though his anger at the two had hardly diminished. He was still fully intent on placing all of the blame on them.

Obi-wan placed a hand on the younger man's chest and carefully shoved him back a few steps. "I'm sorry, Anakin, but I was a little busy watching my fellow Jedi swing his lightsaber around like a drunk in a bar fight. You'll have to pardon my surprise," he sarcastically replied.

Anakin batted the hand away. "Maybe if you'd helped me, I wouldn't have to 'pardon your surprise.' Something I'm not going to do. Consider yourself unpardoned."

Obi-wan's eyes narrowed even more and a brow shot up again. An odd combination to see.

Mace stepped between the two of them, glaring back and forth. "You can argue about the cactus later. Right now, let's sort this other matter out. The Krill has left the building, so let's assess the damages." He walked to the board at the front of the room. All eyes followed his towering form. For the first time in the last ten minutes, he realized that he was still in a classroom. Mace cleared his throat and grabbed a marker. "Okay, class. Since you've heard this entire argument, why doesn't everybody participate here? I'll put their names over here," he said, scribbling 'Anakin/Obi-wan' on the left side of the board, "and everyone else over here." He wrote 'Everyone Else' on the right side.

He turned to observe everyone in the room, including the two gundarks in the middle who were now back to glaring at him rather than each other. "Let's start with Anakin and Obi-wan. What should I write under their names?"

Nobody raised a hand. Mace frowned when he heard an impatient sigh come from the middle of the room. "Allow me," Obi-wan muttered before regarding the class with a mixture of amusement and authority. "Class, our dear friend the Chancellor is asking you to weigh in both sides of what you've just heard. Evidence, arguments, etcetera. Don't be bashful."

Mace barely kept from lashing out at the 'Chancellor' comment. He would not be the immature one in the room.

Still, nobody raised a hand. Mace tapped the board. "Damages. Let's begin there. What did they damage?"

A hand shot up. "A door."

Mace nodded. "Very good. What else?"

It didn't take long for the raising of hands to turn into the shouting of answers without the raising of hands.

"Master Skywalker's head!"

"The ceiling!"

"A CACTUS!"

A knock on the door broke through all of the shouts. Every head swiveled and locked onto it. "Come in!" Obi-wan shouted.

A boy poked his head in and then stepped through the opening. "Sorry I took so long, Master Kenobi."

Obi-wan smiled a little. "No matter, Gavin. Feel free to take any open desk. We were just finishing up a discussion before class ends."

The young initiate found a desk, looked around, and then climbed on top of it. Obi-wan continued to look at him. Mace was beginning to feel a little uneasy. "Just out of curiosity, Gavin," Obi-wan continued. "Why _did_ you take so long?"

The initiate glanced once at Mace, which only intensified the bad feeling in his gut. "Well, my room is pretty far away and I had to pass the Council Chambers on the way, and I guess something happened in there, because they had a clean-up crew and everything. A few Holonet reporters were there, but Master Fisto was keeping them away... I really don't know what happened. Something about the windows..." he trailed off, looking between the three older Jedi.

Anakin loudly cleared his throat with a pointed look at Mace. "Master Windu?"

Mace's eyes jerked to Anakin and settled there. "Yes, Skywalker?"

Anakin smirked. "Care to explain?"

Mace didn't blink. "Explain what?"

Obi-wan was uncharacteristically blunt about it. "It appears the most expensive thing Anakin and I broke was a door, Mace. While I sat on a chair picking thorns out of my foot, you didn't happen to blast out a couple of floor-to-ceiling windows did you?"

"No, I did not," Mace told them, emphasizing each word. The silence that followed lasted much too long. He finally looked away from Kenobi's penetrating gaze. "Master Mundi did," he finished.

The initiates were all staring at him, wide-eyed, Anakin had begun to laugh before he even realized he was laughing, and Obi-wan was doing the complete opposite. Glaring at him with eyes that were on fire. "I don't suppose you were going to bring this small detail to light?" he quipped.

"I didn't find it relevant to our discussion..." he started to say.

"Relevant," Kenobi echoed. "I have one question, Mace, and this might be slightly off topic, but I'm beyond caring at this point."

Mace barely kept himself from smirking. _Ohhh, he's mad now..._

"Do you have something against Anakin and I?"

The chrono switched to six-o-clock and the hourly chime sounded through the hallways. Obi-wan took a brief moment to flick his hand in a dismissive wave. "Class dismissed," he said, still glaring at Mace.

No one left the room.

"Well?" Obi-wan demanded, not bothering to dismiss the class a second time. If they wanted to stay and watch, then so be it.

"Aside from the fact that the two of you seem determined to make my life miserable, then no, I guess I don't," Mace shot back.

"We don't do it on purpose," Anakin snapped. "You just... sort of... get in the way."

Mace blinked. "Get in the way?"

Obi-wan brought a hand up and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Nice, Anakin. What a _fantastic_ choice of words."

"Get in the _way_?" Mace repeated. He stalked forward until he was right in front of the young Jedi. Anakin took a couple steps back. "Was I _in the way_ when you dropped a droid outside of my apartment this morning? Or when one of your neighbors comm'd me to complain about the noises coming from your apartment? Or when you decided to slice your door to ribbons, letting the bug escape that stung me on the head? Any of those?"

"Absolutely," Anakin said, not hesitating for even a fraction of a second. Then he looked at Obi-wan. "Would you care to back me up, here?"

Obi-wan suddenly felt a headache coming on. "Just don't _speak_, Anakin."

Mace had finally had enough. Talking wasn't getting anywhere. At all. "How about we handle all of this at once?" he suggested, fixing Obi-wan with a glare that few could match. "A duel. I win, you fix your own doors, deal with your own grumpy neighbors, and fix any of your 'accidents' that happen to occur."

Obi-wan smiled slightly. "And if I win?"

Mace matched the smile. "If _Anakin_ wins, I'll apologize, and maybe even tolerate any later disasters you two cause."

Obi-wan's smile disappeared. "Anakin?" His young protégé had never dueled Mace before and had little experience dealing with an opponent that used a style more aggressive than his own.

Mace smirked, extremely satisfied. "Yes, Anakin. He made it quite clear before we arrived that he was clearly, _clearly_ the brawn of the Team and you were the brains. I'm quite interested to see if this is true."

Anakin exploded. "THAT'S NOT FAIR!" he shouted.

Mace smirked. "Why not? I think it's perfectly reasonable."

Anakin held up his busted hand; the movement caused it to spark. "My hand is _useless,_ thanks to you."

Mace cocked his head to the side. "So, let me get this straight. You're blaming Obi-wan for your own forgetfulness and you're blaming me for those five graceful falls you took on the way up here. Is that it? I'm responsible for your lack of coordination?"

"Completely. You suggested the stairs," Anakin bit out.

"And you agreed."

Obi-wan sighed. "Anakin, you're hopeless."

Anakin crossed his arm, the wires of his pinky finger poking out from beneath the folds of his robes. "Thanks, master. You're real encouraging." Then he looked at Mace again. "Fine. I'll do it, but only if you agree to use your off hand."

Mace turned, heading for the door. "I don't think so, Skywalker. You got yourself into this mess. Get yourself out of it."

Anakin huffed and followed. A loud roar of anticipation went up from the initiates as they hopped down from their desks and ran after the two Jedi.

When the room emptied out, Obi-wan stood in the middle, exasperation written all over his normally stoic features.

His datapad lay crushed on the floor, trampled by a few dozen feet. He picked it up, examined it, and determined that it was beyond repair. Then he marched out of the room, dropping the thing in the trash on the way by. "Anakin, so help me," he muttered. "If Mace doesn't finish you, _I will._"

* * *

_Well? Any thoughts? Feel free to leave a few! Thanks for reading! :D_

_"Nobody ever died of laughter." ~ Max Beerbohm_


End file.
